Farewell, Adios, Arrivederci, Au Revoir 2010!!!!!!!!!!

Last day of the year, in a couple of hours we will be saying farewell to 2010 and welcome 2011.

What a year!!!!!! Years come and go and with them we keep our best and wost memories.

Ill try to write as much as I can, despite the fact that last night I couldn't sleep at all i had a hell of a night. My whole body decided to betray me, and i was in pain the whole night. Pain was so bad i almost went to the ER because i had a blasting headache on the back of my head that ran all the way down to my shoulders. My left arm is also still in pain (which i hate,hate, hate) makes me think im gonna get a heart attack. I don't know i hate how i have felt the fear of my life ending is the worst feeling ever. I think these are the side effects of my radiation. I wonder if the full body scan is the reason to blame for the pain in my head and neck (since the Nuclear doc places the pillow on my neck leaving my head in the most awkward position) As for my left arm i don't know i have been carrying bags and doing my most natural routine. But maybe my body has had enough and now i regret not resting the full 5 weeks that i had to right after my surgery.

I had planned to straighten my hair, do my new year nail design (which i tried to do but unfortunately i have lost my hand coordination it seriously made me cry at the fact that i couldn't paint my nails. I tried about 7x's to paint them but i couldn't, i've been feeling too weak) so there will be no New Year's nail design. Plans were to get all dolled up to receive the new year but, i guess plans have changed. Anyways its alright my health comes first. BTW i think its my new Thyroid medication doing its wonders i officially hate food. I will eat only because i have to eat but i have lost my appetite completely.

My favorite thing and highlight of this  year was The FIFA 2010 South Africaa World Cup, wow i seriously enjoyed almost every single game and i had so much fun arguing with friends about some of the matches. despite the fact that none of my favorite teams won i had so much fun watching it. I fell in love and i saw the potential in Uruguay, Diego Forlan  became one of my favorite players and i will never forget the match between Ghana and Uruguay both teams fought like champions and despite what people say Luis Suarez in my opinion sacrificed himself for his team. Towards the end Argentina delivered quite and amazing game, and Brazil and Italy were a complete disappointment. Wasn't to thrilled that Spain won but it was well deserved. Oh let's not forget Paul the Octopus stole my heart lol!

Trying to think really hard what else i enjoyed im sure i enjoyed many other things which unfortunately i can't remember but i will never forget that August was my official month of getting sick. I had the worst bronchitis followed by countless appointments to figure out my real health problem.

The year has been really tough on my whole family, financially, mentally, physically  and health wise but I know we are not alone in this. I just hope the new year brings more work opportunity and allows everyone who has had it tough to find their way around in 2011! Yes i know there were a whole lot of other problems world wide but forgive me for not mentioning them, i don't have them at the top of my head. This is just me brainstorming and remembering the most current issues. I'm sure many have lost a family member or a loved one this year so to them i say  may they R.I.P and my deepest condolence to you.

I don't want to get to off topic or discuss any political issues. But i do hope that this new year brings peace world wide.

That stupid racist laws like the Arizona sb 1070 stop being passed. And if they do want to secure the borders then so be it but do it in a non racist manner. I hope the Dream Act passes because those kids sure as hell deserve to be here more than anyone. I hope we realize what's important and crucial to deal with like stopping child abuse and dealing with all those sick pedophiles out there if anyone deserves to be treated like trash its all those disgusting sick fucks out there. I really hope we start taking better care of our planet.

I hope the pointless war we are having stops and may all innocent people stop being killed. That the horrible kidnappings and tortures stop in Mexico. (I KNOW, I KNOW that's a lot for me to wish for but  i can dream can't I? Overall i hope we can all get along, and that we can sort our differences in different ways.

 Well before my headache and the pain in my fingers starts kicking in let me just say, im thankful for this whole year despite that it's leaving me with a large amount of hospital bills, medication, and loads of new side effects.

But its all good, im also thankful for the fact that doctors were able to locate my cancer just in time before it got any worst im thankful that i have insurance (now i realize how lucky i am for having something as simple as a good health insurance in this wonderful country) im thankful for my family (specially my mother) and for the friends who have been sharing my experience oh and also to the large amount of audience that i have around the world thank you so much for reading my blog. I'm also thankful to all those wonderful people i have met, like nurses, doctors, and just anyone who i have met even for just a minute this year. I wish you all a Prosperous, healthy New Year may 2011 bring the key to your happiness and mine as well.

I really have so many things in mind to do this year they are not my new years resolution because let's face it i don't think i have ever achieved any of my new years resolution. But what i have in my mind are set goals for my entire future. So to all my friends and loved one's Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!! BIG HUGS AND KISSES TO THE ONE'S I LOVE WHO ARE SO FAR AWAY IN DIFFERENT COUNTRIES!!!!!!!

editorial provided by (http://politicalgraffiti.wordpress.com/category/humor/)

I love you all,
have a great and safe New Year's party in my honor!!!!!!!

p.s
i think it's about time to start using my vicodin prescription. My scar is giving me horrible pain.

My Radiation week!

I have begun my radiation treatment. On Monday i met with my Nuclear Doctor and she discussed further information on my radioactive treatment. I had to go today (Tuesday) once again to begin my dosage. Since I will be radioactive for a whole week i will be recording my days of  isolation.  First of all i must stay away from everyone specially babies, children and pregnant women oh and pets. So since it just happens that here at home we have 3 dogs and 2 small children (Brigitte and my cousin Omar) then obviously its best for me to just stay in my room. So the way this works, i need to use disposable plates and well any utensils and cups and anything i touch. All the clothe that i will wear throughout my radioactive period i must wash a week after on its own in case all the radioactive hasn't gone on its own. The bathroom that I'm using only I can use it, so anything else i will be using with gloves. So let's see how this goes.... Maybe i get some really cool out of this world supper powers lol.


Tuesday December 21, 2010

It's so cold, my room is seriously the coldest room of the entire house i don't know why? When it's already completely insulated. Anyways well Woke up early today to have a light breakfast and went to the hospital once again to meet with the Nuclear people, (seriously everyone at the administration and Nuclear place already know me) I feel like i live there lol! So they took me into the room that has left me jumpy, the one with the human straightening iron. Gave me a bunch of paper work had me put on gloves and handed me a little see-through tube with a regular sized pill (which i wasn't suppose to touch just swallow) didn't taste nor smelled like anything at all. I guess my nerves just had me a little nauseous but i survived. So now that I've been home the whole day since coming from the hospital. It's been so boring i usually love being in my room but its different when i'm being forced to this kind of isolation. I'm somewhat bored mostly cold and tired. It's still raining i wish the sun would of come out today, but i guess its on strike till further notice. So far i managed to clean my room, still need to fold some cloth on my bed.

But i did manage to paint my nails (ohhh yeah) i'm not sure if its safe for me to be using chemicals like acetone and nail polish maybe i should of asked.) I went on and used it anyways,

so the theme for today was 'The Grinch' Nails finally got to use my new Nicole by OPI polish ' Fell from the tree' and i really love how the design came out.

Unfortunately i couldn't go to the library to check out some books so my lap top will have to do. In the mean time before dinner i think ill watch something on NETFLIX.


Wednesday December 22, 2010

Couldn't sleep much last night, my body was in a lot of pain, i get this really annoying twitch on my legs and my arms and fingers go numb on top of that i get non-stop chills which drive me crazy. So far the only thing I've done today is take naps after after naps. Been reading from people that they were able to spot a rainbow and got a look at the sun. I guess i managed to sleep through that one because looking out my window all I see is rain. Oh ok so the only new symptom that i have felt since taking my radiation pill is this big discomfort on my neck. My scar keeps giving me this sharp tingling pain in the center. Other than that i still feel really weak and tired.

Thursday December 23, 2010

Oh my, so this isolation thing isn't working i need people to converse with! I miss my family, i know they are just out in the living room but not being able to hug my little sister or my mom is so annoying. I miss being out in the kitchen just keeping my mom company. Or sitting in the couch watching pointless shows on t.v. I guess im appreciating the little things. Well I get irritated my mom is just horrible, i kept snapping at my poor parents over the fact that they wouldn't come inside my room. What am i infested lol (Yup) well its also my very high levels of hypothyroidism that has me like this. Late was i inform that i could begin my thyroid medication, since tomorrow is Christmas Eve and my ENT's office will be closed i can't get my thyroid prescription till Monday. That's a long while and by the mood i'm having i need it badly.

Upon waking up today my body was in so much pain i couldn't get up from my own bed. Just knowing that i had to spend my day in my room was just upsetting. So i slept for a while and finally after a meal i got better. Tried teaching myself to knit but since that failed, i went back to Netflix  i watched 'La Dolce Vita' that Sylvia was one voluptuous doll. My second movie was 'My cousin Vinny' gotta love Joe Pesci, then i went with two 80's movies 'Maid to Order' and 'Only You' I had seen it before but i feel like 80's movies never get old i love them (Specially the John Hughes one's). So yeah my mood is way better now.

Friday December 24!
Christmas Eve!
Last day of radiation, still kept my distance from mostly everyone but i did manage to go out for a while, wow stores were so crowded, lines would seriously circle the whole store. But anyways i wasn't there to buy anything just to distract myself a bit. Still used plastic gloves and kept my distance from children and pregnant women.  At home i still did the same thing I've been doing for the past 3-days but felt much better about it. So glad tomorrow is a brand new day. Oh and finally the sun came out and for the first time in a long time i felt warm.

Saturday December 25!
Merry X-Mas
My bright sunny day is long gone, Rain is back to attack but I'm finally able to hug Brigitte and pet my dogs. So glad, even watching pointless tv was amazing. Well Merry X-MAS to everyone.

Tuesday December 28
Full body scan (Part deux)

Woke up supper early for my early full body scan (part due) tried my best but got a mild panic attack yet again. I just wish i could trick myself into liking that machine. But i hyperventilate as soon as i get on it. My Nuclear doctor was so nice to try and make everything as comfortable as possible for me, but I couldn't take it. I'm just glad i survived it and in the mean time i don't have any up-coming appointments with (the human straightening- iron.) I did begin my thyroid medication today, no major side effects so far. I really hope it stays that way. But i am supper tired, oh and the Nuclear Doctor's assistance did say that the radiation he was getting from me was way lower than last time (that's a really really good sign.)

thanks for being part of my radiation week

xoxo
-Karla-

My 24th birthday!

Happy Birthday to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 I dedicate my nail design to my 24th birthday tried doing a mini self portrait(yes with my scar), balloons, cake, and a party hat what more could i possibly want.

December 19 to many of you is just an ordinary day just like any other but there are some interesting Event's  that happen through history on this day!

1154 King Henry II of England crowned
1842 U.S. recognizes independence of Hawaii
1843 Charles Dickens publishes "A Christmas Carol," in England
1884 Italy recognizes King Leopold II's Congo Free State
1941 Hitler takes complete command of German Army
1948 8th largest snowfall in New York City history (15.3")
1958 1st radio broadcast from space (President Eisenhower voice "To all mankind, America's wish for Peace on Earth and Good Will to Men Everywhere")
1969 Beatle's 7th Christmas album is released
1971 Stanley Kubrick's X-rated "A Clockwork Orange" premieres
1985 Mary Lund is 1st woman to receive a Jarvik VII artificial heart
1995 Queen Elizabeth askes Prince Charles and Diana to divorce
1998 House of Representatives approves two articles of impeachment, charging President Clinton with lying under oath to a federal grand jury and obstructing justice
'Historic' Events were provided by (http://www.brainyhistory.com/daysbirth/birth_december_19.html)


The point is that its not an ordinary day (to me) because its ma b-day!!!!!! oh and i share my birthday with actor Jake Gyllenhaal, Actress Alyssa Milano and French singer Edit Piaf (La Vie en Rose)

So here's the story; I was born on Friday December 19, 1986 in San Salvador/ El Salvador in an improvised hospital due to the October 10, 1986 earthquake in El Salvador that destroyed the Hospital which i was scheduled to be born at. Also when the earthquake happen it scared the hell out of me inside my mother's belly that i flipped in a full sitting position, but luckily i decided to chance my position before birth. My dad was out on a business trip but told (me inside my mother's belly to wait till he was back) and of course i listened (like i always do wink wink lol) he was back exactly that Friday and my mother said she's sure i was born in the evening. Well anyways, I was my mother's Christmas gift.

So now that i'm 24 i can honestly now say that i do feel one year older. First of all im so glad i've made it this far in life despite of some major obstacles that i've had. As you all know by now im going through Thyroid Cancer and dealing with it is a big struggle. I can't say i'm used to it (i don't think anyone ever gets used to having Cancer) but when i was 3 months old i went through Bacterial Meningitis which is a rare but horrible disease. But i was lucky enough to have my mother who noticed in the middle of the night that i was convulsing and having seizures. Also very thankful to my Uncle Omar who also saved my life on our way to the hospital while my dad drove and my mother was in complete shock he was sucking out all the phlegm that could of gone to my brain and killed me. Thank God i can't remember but my mother went through a lot seeing her 3 month old baby having to have shots in (my spinal cord) and go through many months of study. So i was able to make it out of that one at 3 months so Thyroid Cancer watch out! Anyways i know i collapse at times and i say this and that and im always annoying the hell out of everyone by saying im tired which i am. But im determine to recover from this ASAP so my life as an adult can officially begin. I really hope that before my birthday next year i am able to accomplish some goals that i have in mind.

Throughout my years i have had a wonderful life up's and down's just like everyone else but that's what makes up life. I have my fantastic parents and my beautiful little sister Brigitte (Oops almost forget my other sister and brother i guess their OK lol j/k.) I've had the opportunity to meet some pretty great people (some for a minute other for hours, days, weeks, months and years) The friends who i have who I really share my life with can be counted with just one hand. But they are amazing and i thank God everyday for you guys. Specially my best friend who always manages to help me out with the toughest things by being my reality check (you my friend know who you are and I love you from the bottom of my heart. TI VOGLIO BENE il mio ragazzo ;* )

I'm pretty sure i won't do anything today because frankly i'm broke lol, tired, and extremely cold and i doubt this rain is going to stop on my account. So i will probably sleep for half of the day and try to clean a bit. But cheers on my special day. and again thank you lord for allowing me one more year of life!

P.S
definitely no birthday cake (ever since my surgery my sugar craving has been 100% everyday and if i continue giving in there's no telling)


Well thanks for stopping by

xoxo
-Karla-

CARO DIARIO!

 I've been really tired so i decided to write mini blogs to record my recovery, some what depressing but i can't help it. I need some sun, it hasn't stopped raining and i usually love the rain but right now i need some Energy some warmth because i have the chills badly.

December 14, 2010
9:00 pm
'Molto Stanca'

I'm completely out of it! I'm tired, depressed, sad, upset etc.......
hate it so much, i thought i had been able to get all this under control but depression has been coming back to get me! My body has been in so much pain a simple task as sneezing makes my elbows and wrist hurt as if they are broken. I went out with my mom to Costco and i was so moody, on top of that i could hardly walk my whole body was in excruciating pain. I can't even begin to describe how it felt. But it was a horrible discomfort and complete embarrassment to feel my body in such a poor state. Seriously!!!!!! as i was walking my legs wouldn't react i felt like every bone in my body was just going to collapse right there and then. My arms and my fingers hurt so bad at night that these past 3 days i haven't been able to sleep. I have come back to the days in which i feared for my life, i get so scared at night. The heart palpitations are back (or maybe it's just me) but they sure sound like there back. It makes me so sad that I'm so tired, i sleep and sleep and sleep and still i look tired and this is just too much. Tomorrow is my full body scan and quite frankly I'm so anxious. Yesterday the 13th i got my radioactive pill to get my body ready for the full body scan so i still need to keep  6 feet distance from my little sis and cousin. (So memo to self: MUST FIND MY ENERGY)

December 15, 2010
5:49 pm
'OH GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH'

I don't know how to feel today, crying hasn't helped one bit, but my fear is elevating each passing moment.
I woke up early to get to the hospital before 7:30 am for my full body scan. I thought it would be better/thought i would just do it and everything would be over. But boy oh boy, was i completely wrong. First of all upon seeing the machine that i was going to get into i got very confident that i could do it (piece of cake) Well i was wrong i underestimated the machine it wasn't one of those machines that look like bullets in which they place u to scan your whole body. This one was like a huge straightening iron machine the one's that two steal plates straighten your hair (duh! that's how all straightening iron's look like) well i was chill kept telling myself oh you got this u can so do this.  But the very second that i lay down and started to get pressed by the machine i remember: Yo girl, remember your claustrophobic and this shit don't fly with you!!!! Yup I'm claustrophobic and i had an immediate panic attack specially that the specialist who did it strapped me tight and my entire memory of the surgery came back. I got nauseous tried to close my eyes,  tried for 5 seconds to breath but i kept getting dizzier than ever. I finally realized that i couldn't do it, nearly crying i told the specialist to please stop that i was claustrophobic and i needed time. He said: "You should of told me that." but he was so nice he loosed up the straps and let me breath and relax a bit. But then i had to get back, so  2nd time around I closed my eyes and tried not to think, and finally my head was out just my body was still inside (not great at all but as long as my head was out.) He got me out once again and told me he had to mark my neck and that i unfortunately needed to go back in for 10 minutes (your kidding me right) to take more pictures of my neck in which i have the Cancer. Well i managed my eyes completely shut i tried and i did it (it sure wasn't and easy task to do.) Afterward he had me stand up and with an odd looking machine he stood about 3 feet apart from me and help the machine by my neck upon doing so the machine started beeping as if gold had been found. Then he said: Well there's still a bit of Cancer like it was expected. For a moment he got me happy but then when i went to get my things i saw two pictures of my full body on the monitor it was a white silhouette the back side of my body was all white but the front had 2 black spots, one dot was in my neck the other (can't remember clearly) but it was either in my right or left side breast or arm pit. So i said is the neck the only place i have Cancer he stood quiet and said we have to analyze these picture and your doctor will let u know. (SO IM FREAKING OUT!!!! I'M SCARED SO SCARED! I KNOW WHAT I SAW, I SAW A BLACK DOT BY MY BREAST BONE OR SOMEWHERE IN MY CHEST) Seriously I'm devastated i had already accepted my THYROID CANCER SO PLEASE OH PLEASE LORD HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME! I hope i can get my results back soon cause I'm crushed, words cannot describe how i feel today.

December 16, 2010
7:00pm
'Hectic Day'

It's been an ok day, have had mild stress but i managed to sleep a bit more last night. I've been up the whole day running errands and helping my mother with Brigitte's x-mas school presentation. With only a day left there are seriously no more x-mas dresses left. (Damn Procrastinators lol ) But we finally managed to find a perfect dress for her to wear tomorrow. We also went to a school play she was participating on, she was a little angel dusting snow all over the place (supper cute.) So I've been thinking a lot about my health and it concerns me so much but now im feeling guilty about how much i let this get to me, i have to be strong and i gotta pull myself together.
 
December 17
9:00pm
'Nervous'

My mood has been a whole lot better, spoke to my ENT's secretary and she said the following week i will begin radiation in the hospital. I still don't know how it works, they haven't given me much details about it. All i know is that my doctors just switched gears all of a sudden and i don't know why? First they were going to get more blood work from me and i was scheduled to go to the hospital on Wednesday; but the nuclear specialist over at the hospital called to scratch that and instead go to the hospital first thing But i need to start ASAP because she said my thyroid levels are very high i'm in hypothyroidism that explains all the symptoms that im having: (Weakness, fatigue, depression, chills, joint pain, etc and on top of it im nearly 90% prone to catching a cold or a flue! So gotta be careful with that, specially that it's extremely cold and it hasn't stopped raining. My head hurts a bit so i should lay down.

xoxo

-Karla

La Guadalupana!

I don't watch much TV, at least not on the actual television i watch my favorite showtime shows online. But from time to time i like watching  'Aquí y Ahora' its like the 20/20 in Spanish, of course it comes out on one of the biggest Spanish television Networks Univision canal 34. I'm really glad i tuned in this Tuesday because there was a story that caught my eye.

But before i begin let me just say, I'm not religious (meaning i don't practice nor follow one religion, which i will be blogging about in the near future.) But for now i will say I do believe in GOD, i pray every night and i have a lot of faith in the Lord. I know miracles happen but I'm sometimes more of a realist and sometimes I'm very skeptical to believing miracles happen.

Also I have never prayed to a Virgin nor a Saint (Why did i just mention a Virgin???) Well because the story is about a Miracle 'LA VIRGEN DE GUADALUPE' (The Virgin Guadalupe) did. Oh by the way please don't get me wrong i have nothing against anyone who prays to her this is just on a personal level. But I gotta admit sometimes it annoys me how much exploitation people sometimes do with 'LA VIRGEN DE GUADALUPE' (The Virgin Guadalupe) example: 'She appeared in my cereal, eggs, chair, drink etc....catch my drift well we have heard all sort of places she has appeared.

Well today is December 12th its the day Juan Diego took proof to the non believing Spanish Bishop whom Juan Diego had told about the dark Virgin who appeared before him. (Yes i did goggle some info about her which happens to be a very interesting story.)

So anyways well the story that caught my eye on 'Aqui y Ahora' (oh which is mean 'Here and Now') was about a little girl (around 6 i believe) who had not only been diagnosed with Cancer but her whole entire little body was invaded with some kind of rare Cancer; and upon diagnoses she had to go under multiple surgeries so she would be able to walk. Well her mother was a non-practicing Jew and her father a non practicing Catholic meaning they didn't speak much of any religion nor had any religious portraits at home.

Anyways the little girl was going through Chemo and all sort of medication to treat her condition.  Which also Doctor's had told the parents she had about a 2% chance of living. But the little girl started telling her mom that 'MOTHER CHURCH' would visit her and would speak to her. Both parents were puzzled and had no idea who mother church could be so they printed out a bunch of pictures of Virgins from the Internet and asked the little girl to recognize mother church. To their surprise she pointed out The Virgin of Guadalupe' as being mother church. Now her parents were confused because like i they had never taught her about any religious figure. But the parents not knowing what to do started searching and found out that the little girl had been born on December 12 which like i said just happens to be 'La Virgen of Guadalupe's Day' so they decided to start praying to the Virgin of Guadalupe and the dad said that in one particular occasion he felt a a powerful energy from the back of the head and a voice telling him "Lo buscaran pero no lo encontraran" translation "they will look but they won't find it" Then it was time for the little girl to get another full body scan and to every one's surprise the Little girl's entire Cancer was completely gone.

Which Doctors clearly said was totally and completely impossible specially with the severity of the Cancer she had. So this my friends is a straight out miracle and i seriously believe this one actually it impressed me so much. Oh and the parents did a special shrine in the back yard for the Virgin and converted to Catholic and flew to Mexico to visit the Basilica of The Virgin of Guadalupe and as they said they will be eternally grateful.

So i really wanted to blog about it, because i found it to be so interesting and inspiring and like my dad always Say's "Faith moves mountains." Well hope you guys found this story interesting i sure did.

By the way tomorrow I'm going into the hospital to get my full body scan to check that my Cancer hasn't spread.

 xoxo
-Karla-


Thanks for stopping by and Happy Virgin of Guadalupe Day.

Image courtesy of (http://www.revolutionmyspace.com/image-code-30/virgen_guadalupe)

It's official one whole month has gone by!!!

December 5th 2010, WOW a whole month has gone by since my surgery (it has definitely felt much longer than that) but I'm so glad i have managed to survived. Day after day i have managed to get used to my new scar all my new symptoms and my daily pills (which at times I completely forget to take them.) So i went out and bought one of those weekly pill containers looked so boring so i decorated it! Love how it came out it will definitely help me out with keeping track of my pills.

But the toughest of it all has been getting back into my daily routine, haven't been able to do everything i have always done. My energy isn't still 100% present, i wake up with so much energy and plan for the whole day ahead but once noon comes around I'm exhausted. So daily naps are part of my new schedule. I also can't seem to help out too much around the house or my scar begins to hurt really bad. But i finally managed to finally start driving alone again (although it felt so weird and i was paranoid that i would crash.) I know eventually everything I'm used to will come back naturally/ almost forget my voice i need my voice it still hasn't come back at all. It's so low it always sounds like I'm whispering rather than talking normal. Sometimes it gets to me specially when I'm at the store trying to ask for assistance or even talking on the phone. Don't even get me started on the multiple times i have to repeat myself so my own family can understand me. But I'm definitely managing and my mom is always next to me helping me with anything that i can't do on my own.

Well i still haven't been able to begin with my radiation or get the full body scan to check for spread of Cancer due to the inflammation around my scar. But i finally have the before and after pictures of my scar so here it is.

I took this picture a day before my surgery (i miss my scar-less neck) j/k the tumor on my right side wasn't that visible but it sure was there.

I took this next one the day Dr. Kerner took off my bandages which was about a week and half after my surgery

a week after

and finally ta da.... my scar looking a lot cleaner and healing very well

ill take some more pictures to track the healing of my scar. Anyways its really cold and it's raining cats and dogs here in Cali, it's really beginning to look a lot like x-mas.

Thanks for stopping by and hope everyone is doing good!

xoxo
-Karla-

What ever happen to the good old day's

I came across an article in the 'Los Angeles Times' about how 'Tangled' Disney's new Princess movie will be the last fairy tale produced by Disney. Because Disney feels that children (girls) no longer desire to be princesses waiting around for their prince charming to come along and sweep them off their feet. They feel that 5-6 year olds want to be "cool" and "hot" and they also believe that children care more about movies such as Iron Man and Transformers and I quote "To be honest, that's who we're all competing with on some level.

SERIOUSLY???? What a disappointment that Disney is quitting what they are best at! But they are the one's to blame, where the heck are the cartoons?

For 6 years i have been watching the kind of shows my little sister (Brigitte) watches and besides PBS kids and other educational channels, cartoons no longer play an important role in children lives. Shows like 'Hanna Montana' and 'Wizards of Waverly Place' have taken over. Which is fine (i guess) i do have to admit that I've gotten hooked on them as well but i just wish she would have a favorite cartoon to watch.

Mesmerizing on my own childhood experience i remember rushing home after school to watch Disney cartoons like 'My little Pony', 'Gummy Bears', 'Duck Tales', 'Doug' and 'Pokemon' to name a few. Those are great memories that i shall always cherish. Cartoons were so much fun, filled with adventures and morals. Our generation has such a large variety of shows 'Bobby's World', 'The Pinky and the Brain', Power Rangers etc... I will never forget how much i wanted to the be the pink power range. But those days are long gone Disney's most popular shows include difficult topics like Work, family Drama and RELATIONSHIPS.

Just the other day Brigitte was watching an episode of 'Hanna Montana' in which Jake is two timing Miley and she's going to confront him, another example is that of 'Wizards of Waverly Place' Alex Russo is debating on giving up her powers just to be with her werewolf boyfriend (Mason). What are these shows teaching children or should i say girls? I do get it that times have changed and some kids out there are dealing with real life issues; but i just wish networks like Disney would promote cartoons as much as they promote Hanna.

Children as young as kindergartners have become so violent and promiscuous, and i do say this from experience.  Last year all through Brigitte's Kindergarten year i would volunteer once a week and the things those kids would say were simply horrifying. Young boys (5 year old's) were talking about boobs, sex and fights. Girls were no exception either they were already fighting over the cutest boy in class and how he had all ready kiss them in the mouth.

I strongly feel that Brigitte is to young to be concentrating on relationship issues she's 6 for goodness sake and yeah it would be easy just to turn off the T.V but what else is on. This is her t.v time and by the time she gets home 'Curious George' and 'Arthur' are long gone. My parents and i do our best to go out and rent her cartoons and education shows but there's so much we can do at the end of the day she wants to watch what every one else is watching. Because there is no telling what would happen if she's the only 1st grader who didn't get to watch the latest episode of 'Hanna Montana.' I sure hope Disney reconsiders their decision. I love the fairy tale stories i grew up with 'Aladdin' and 'Beauty and Beast' it's important for girls to want to be princesses once in their life. I do love the wonderful Work of Disney's Pixar (animation has taken over cartoons. But these are all in good taste. I sure hope that when I have children of my own, that they get to have a pleasant innocent childhood with cartoons or animated shows that teach education values.

here is the link to the article on 'Los Angeles Times'
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-1121-tangled-20101121,0,7895261.story

xoxoxo
-Karla

The tradition lives on!

It's Friday evening and I'm freezing!!!!!! I can't seem to get warm up my nose and hands are cold as ice. 

I've been doing pretty good, although I haven't been resting to much and i can now see and feel that my body is asking me to stop pushing it. I've been here and there and everywhere. So now my cut is hurting quite a bit, not extremely painful but an awkward tugging and pulling sensation specially when i swallow. Hadn't felt like this before but i guess i just need to rest a bit more to fully recover. Anyways so i'm feeling a bit depressed maybe its the weather (gloomy, foggy, winter just my favorite season of the year!) or maybe its just me. I still haven't gotten my voice back at all, in the morning its quite louder than during the rest of the day. But i can't scream or shout one bit, it is so low that i have to constantly repeat myself over and over again. I feel like i'm deaf and mute, at times i can't even hear my own words they fade away in the air. So it's annoying me i have to whistle or snap my fingers so my own family can pay attention to me. I really hope i get it back soon because it's becoming quite a struggle.  ahhh! I sound so annoying!!!!

So let my try and lighten the mood, with my Harry Potter tradition. As you may know its about that time of the year when Harry, Ron, and Hermione continue their quest to defeat "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

Well ever since The Harry Potter film Saga began my sister and i have had a tradition of watching the very first showing at midnight, meaning that we purchase the tickets a month in advanced or as soon as they start selling them and we head to our favorite theater (Winetka) at 6pm sharp to wait in line so we can get great seats to watch it at midnight. Why? well because we simply can't wait! So as you might of guess im a big fan of Harry Potter i've read all 7 books and frankly its by far my favorite fantasy novel series. I love it and i find that J. K. Rowling is simply a genius! My sister is also a big fan, although she's never been interested in reading the books but she loves the films.

So we meet Harry Potter at midnight, and i thought it would change this year because of my surgery. I had told my sister that we wouldn't be doing the midnight screening because i wouldn't be able to handle the whole sitting in line for more than 5 hours in the cold. But she went out and bought the tickets anyway. The whole week i had this huge dilemma "to go or not to go" that was the question. I wasn't too sure but Thursday came around (btw it was my wonderful mother's birthday yesterday) and i just packed a bunch of fruits, got my mittens, sweaters, boots, pillows and blanket and headed to the line. To our surprise the line was already massive by that time. The waiting was very annoying i kept getting so impatient and i was freezing scared that i would hurt my cut from the position i had my head. But we managed and luckily the theater had pity on us and let us in at 10:30 pm so we were able to stay warm for the remaining hour and half.

The crowd was unstoppable as soon as everyone had claim their seats people started clapping their hands and stumping their feet, some had even brought beach balls to throw around. Oh and did i mention the costumes??? Wow very impressive well some had awesome robes with the Griffindor, or slytherin scarf or tie. There were Harry Potter Shirts, pants, shoes, sweaters, scarfs, etc.......... but didn't see anyone with what i had.

WALLAH!!!!!!!!!!! (and i don't meant the 'I swear to God' in Arabic one) lol

                                            My Harry Potter inspired nails featuring Harry's owl
                                            Hedwig, the Griffindor colors (although it looks black
                                            but it's not) and The Nimbus 2000 (Harry's Broom)

I hand painted everything. I must say i'm very proud of how it came out. I used OPI Polish (which by the way is my favorite nail polish) so I posted it to the OPI fan page on Facebook and fans usually comment and stuff and i got so many wonderful comments but i was so impressed that OPI itself commented on my nails and  they rarely comment. OPI said: "These are phenomenal" so that definitely was the highlight of my day.

Well back to the movie, the clock stroked 12:00 am and the movie began, cheers and applause's followed
loud shouts of  "i love you Harry." The movie like always didn't disappoint seeing all the main characters on screen again was the best. The film was just exactly how i had imagined upon reading the book. The right length and pace. It was just what i expected it to be. I had an amazing time and i'm so glad we were able to keep our tradition live all thanks to my sister Andrea. So thank you Andielapirata for pushing me to go I love you! Now i can't wait to re-live our tradition for the second part of 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows' scheduled to be released July 15, 2011.

I'm really tired since we got back like at 3 in the morning but it was so worth it.

Well goodnight and thank you for stopping by!

xoxo
-Karla-

Please Vote for my Nail Design!

Just a quick post. So i entered this Holiday Nail Design contest before my surgery last week. The rules were to design based on your favorite holiday. I choose New Year's and this is what i came up with.

 I did the whole water-marble technique and hand drew the champagne glasses and added glitter and small rocks.

I would love to win any of the three prices so give me a hand and please vote for me in the following link. In order to vote i believe you have to be following the "For your Nails Only" blog.

http://foryournailsonly.blogspot.com/2010/11/give-gift-of-nail-polish-nail-art.html?showComment=1289629978654_AIe9_BF3qU45uZoeKK3nSdtS5M5dEKzuCrNTgJYMqDtH3GU6kZnBY5aIv30uJXxSDe72a8vx_PHnSFykJkK30l1SbEPhYK8JNevFX9rlj3oM1seSBQkjNJI0zEtjcisymWYMh8lshUsczsER-ifi4V5wx8WIKbbRMPXWT1PZC6o_BZysoAE_VQOzPFSX_2eedm6j0dGCxVgzRk8xrHRFrzSJlptPt1JnQ-Ke3XE0aYjpwF-0wc4vmI77CY4BEEbvOtmiSbloMTsc1cVqfbkxjnsxzFJOOQxl_RB1tlIIEvDDpdbN0LH8vqSTWURgohdD1ZqVIOFx8JENwEmqnqOuyeD7KWc0HlwDRbSMx1rQP2sfCvKdYCpkw1Ws-dhVMbVTMC-1X9kWMpa-Mem4Gny3h51PjwnvZBW2yZyt-gYil0CBNWqZd409N-I0Dha53LnTFfZu-KMa6iGVvw0U2i0_10umaXyClHbGCC7wiokjQIbO2WRPzXaQmaHsBcaaBtQu_edEZz9zbI_UqmYVFCWs8L0MTlbxCrgX1EYn3crshJzV-X-B-MQ4m6C95ca-IGdwWNm7BJFqvuhjSgDY__alK9U5FCLXUh-I1YVewTiHcFb78YVy4B9lfoorRg6KDyYnKYfE1tRUiv5kdvP4OUGyowuxpdAZyKJBYVAYm918ZhWhlshWcU__ANSFklxdc3D29MIGQhzrK_S5VUqWcwkhifhALI-ytEgWcDaO_qS8AO9zp7_983mkssTNCCZs1eTPGLWP5ZG69LqJGgUB5Fz980Vil-1OGIMSvw#c7316671280423174342

Thank you so much! xoxo

My one week progress!

Hello, I've been doing really good my recovery period is going so well, my family is being fantastic about it they won't let me lift a plate. I should really enjoy these moment of laziness lol!

But i miss my daily routine, It's been a week and my surgery still hasn't hurt one bit. There's the occasional back pain and the stab in the neck and choking on myself . But other than that I'm doing so well.  Thank you to every one's prayers and good luck.

I would like to thank my mother, above all doesn't leave my side, she's been amazing with all this despite that she herself has an illness she has Rheumatoid Arthritis and I've seen her symptoms but despite all that she's taking this like a pro cooks for me every day makes sure i have everything i need. It's just incredible, don't get me wrong my dad is doing everything he can as well just like the rest of the family. But my mother goes above and beyond for me and i thank God every day for her. She bought me these beautiful flowers that now decorate my room.

                                                  A gift from Mama!


My Aunt Lupita also gave me a beautiful flower decoration she did herself.. That I now treasure in my room as well.

I'm very blessed to have a great family and friends. I cannot thank you enough. I'm so happy to be home
this whole week has been wonderful specially at night all i need is my chamomile calm tea and i sleep like a baby the whole night.

I know it's probably to premature to be doing my nails but my obsession for nail polish is just terrible and my polishes looked so sad i just had to use them. I dedicate this design to my Thyroid i call it my missing bow.

off to be I go. Thank you for stopping by. Till next time! Many Blessings.

A surgery story!

I guess it's time to share my story about the experience in the hospital. First of all if you haven't been following my blog i had my surgery at the Northridge Hospital in Northridge.

                                              Courtesy of Goggle.

It's quite big and about 25 minutes from my house. My surgeon was Dr. Kerner and his partner Dr. Accomozzo (I highly recommend them.) They made me feel as comfortable as i could be from the very beginning. 

So on Friday the 5th i arrived at 8:30am to the surgery station. They already had my wrist band with all my information ready. I just had to go to the second surgery station to my bed. It was very scary all the bed's
lined up and a few patients recovering or getting ready for surgery. The nurse's were very nice gave me my
bear paw gown and socks. Started getting me ready with paperwork and all those fun stuff. I was still
really calm (which i still don't know how i did it) because the calmness that i had was very admirable
specially that the surgery was my biggest fear. (I was terrified of the surgery i didn't know if my body would be able to handle it and i just kept thinking if maybe that was the end of me) But i managed all the prayers
helped me to let go of my fears in that instant.

After-wards the nurses started to get me very anxious because they couldn't find my vein it went from Katherine to, Jill and Mary to try one after the other poking me to start the Ivy, they even used a vein finder and still couldn't do it.  So it frustrated me i started seeing it as a sign that maybe i shouldn't do it. But i still tried to keep my cool. Finally the Anesthesiologist arrived and even he had to give it two tries to finally find my vein. Hurray i was ecstatic that finally they had found it but my arms were already in a lot of pain from them trying. Ming very drowsy but it scared me when he started to grab my arms and put them together with a belt. (I'm claustrophobic and that shit don't fly with me lol) but there wasn't much i could do because the oxygen mask came on before i could even say anything.

From there on everything became a blur it felt like a second. I then woke up in the recovery room i could only make out words. It felt like time was standing still. But a few more nurses came got me ready to take me to my room. The room was pretty spacious but my bed was the worst effiin bed killed my back. Not even all the pillows that i asked for helped.

                                            The worst bed ever (I won't miss you one bit)

 The cable was horrible i couldn't find anything interesting to watch. At least there was a week long marathon of 'The Nanny' so nanny Fran kept me some company!

Worst thing were having the drainage hanging from my neck and the ivy and being woken up every three hours for blood work was horrible. I couldn't eat i still can't because i choke when i try. I was on vicodin, antibiotics and calcium. Even getting up the bathroom was a struggle i would get dizzy. The nurses kept telling me to stay but i wanted out i was so thrilled when Dr. Kerner said that if i wanted to i could leave. So i did said bye bye to that awful bed and now im happy to be home. I know look like a cristal meth user but it's all good.

And that is my surgery story!

The 5th of November

My goodness finally the 5th of November i can't tell you enough how long i have been anticipating for this day to arrive. I will be having my Thyroidectomy done tomorrow. 


Surprisingly I'm very good, I'm feeling very positive and now i just can't wait till this is all over so i can come home and rest.  These last few weeks have been filled with horrible mood swings and a lot of insomnia. I haven't been able to sleep much at night it has taken me about 2-4 hours of tossing and turning in my bed to finally fall asleep, but despite all that i have been distracting myself from all of this.  This particular week was filled with last minute appointments to the hospital and to my doctor but all is just procedure to insure that I will be good for the surgery. Everything has come out really well and i guess I'm pretty healthy and completely ready! 


So have to hit the hay early today, gotta wake up early since i have to arrive at the hospital at 8:30 am (2 hours prior to the surgery) But i am well and very happy that the day has finally arrived.


I will be posting before and after pictures once i have recovered, in the mean time i will be on vicodin for about 2 weeks or depending on how bad and severe the pain is.


thank you for all the support i have received. 


xoxo Karla!

Almost there

There are 7 days left till my surgery and ever since i found out the date i haven't stopped thinking about it. I've been obsessing over it. (over reading other people's experience.) But everyone is different and i shouldn't be putting stuff into my head about these other stories instead i need to focus on my experience.

I've had highs and lows  (mostly lows) and I've allowed this situation to get the best of me. But i have finally decided to put my foot down, and there is no way i will allow this surgery to get the best of me.

I'm feeling real positive and optimistic i trust and believe everything will go well.

Of course i didn't come up with this myself. I owe my optimism to Mimi  (the nurse who went over the procedure and explained every single little detail. I had an appointment to see her today she went over any un-answered questions. But the way she answered everything it made me feel so much better,  in fact I'm not scared at all anymore I'm fine i feel terrific about the surgery.

Mimi even told me that i don't have to worry about the scar, because my surgeons specialize in plastic surgery therefore they do their best to make it as clean as possible and with some special cremes it will disappear into nothing in no time.

I then went to the Northridge hospital to do the whole admissions thing and sign a bunch of papers. I can finally say everything is set for next week. and I'm feeling so good about it.

In the meantime i plan to enjoy this Halloween weekend to the max and just stay calm and positive about Friday.

No other choice but to be strong!

Decided to change my blog a bit, if you ask me i think it looks much cheerful and probably a lot clearer than before!

I met my surgeon today he seems very nice and aside from that i felt comfortable and very relaxed with him. His name is Dr. Kerner (of course i goggled him) and I'm surprised to have found that he's one of the top ENT's in the San Fernando Valley "Was named the best ENT Physician and Surgeon in Los Angeles by the LA Times Magazine in 2009." (check him out). http://www.marckernermd.com/

He explained the whole procedure first of all I'm already scheduled to have it done at the Northridge Hospital on the 5th of November,  in less than 2 weeks from today.

I will get general anesthesia. They (Dr. Kern and Dr. Accomozo) will remove the right side of my thyroid, after-wards while I'm still asleep the pathologist will check it out and will hopefully determine right there and then if it's cancerous if it is they will take out my whole thyroid.

I really hope the Pathologist determines the severity of my tumor immediately because Dr. Kerner did mention that sometimes it's inconclusive and therefore the patient has to wait 2-4 days for their results. The problem with this is that if it is cancerous another surgery has to be performed.  Which i don't want. I prefer they
find out immediately so they can just take out everything on the spot!

Quite frankly i was terrified i still am but not as much as before, thank God for GOOGLE i feel a lot better knowing that I'm in the hands of an experienced Doctor.

I'm trying to keep my nerves down and only projecting positive thoughts not only for me but for my family and friends specially for my mother. She's making this bumpy ride a lot safer with just being my #1 partner in all my appointments.

So next week maybe Thursday i will go see my general Doctor just to make sure that I'm ready for my surgery.

 For now thank you so much to all my friends and loved one's who are being so supportive it is definitely helping so much!

I love you all

Karla

Yet another issue with my health!

Day's and weeks have gone by and ever since I changed my hbp medication i have felt better than ever i really feel that i have changed my whole life style for the better. Depression is completely out the window i haven't had any anxiety attacks or negative thoughts. I was able to turn all my negative thinking into positive thoughts and it has worked perfectly until now.

Recently with all my health issues my general doctor found a rather small lump on the right side of my neck and sent me to an ENT (ears, nose and throat doctor) he ordered a biopsy which i got done last week on my thyroid located on my neck due to an enlarged goiter (abnormally enlarged thyroid gland) the biopsy was extremely painful needles going in an out of my neck one after another for almost an hour or so. Cell's were gather to check whether this was anything to be concern. I took it lightly and just hoped for the best but irregularities came back!

Yesterday i went back to the (ENT) Doctor to discuss my biopsy results and he gave me frightening news turns out my goiter is no longer a goiter its a tumor that has been growing and (Hurthle cells are present in the tumor. which basically means in the words of my doctor "Hurthle cell's are very alarming since they can be a stage of pre-Cancer," basically there is a higher incidence of cancer if there are Hurthle cells present. The danger with these cells is that they change in appearance from normal to abnormal.

Read more at http://www.healthboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=277024&ktrack=kcplinkyes i said CANCER the word tha no one wants to hear.

The next step to take right away is to get a thyroidectomy (surgecally remove half of my thyroid) in which the tumor lies, that is the only way doctors can know if it's cancer. So you can imagine how im freaking out and im scared because i just don't get why at my age i have so many health issues. This isn't due to a family history of thyroid disease or anything like that.

But i'm having mixed emotions i have no idea what to think im scared a surgery sounds so dangerous so many things could go wrong I'm not being a pessimist but come on i do have to look at the pros and cons. The surgery is dangerous if the doctor makes any mistakes  half of my face could stay paralyze or i could even loose my voice. So im so lost im devastated and so sad now the hbp seems like nothing compared to this.

Tomorrow i will meet the surgeon that would be doing the procedure. But it scared me to even think about all this. I am trying to be strong and think positive but i just don't know what i will do.

Don't get me wrong i have so many things to be thankful for, for once im lucky that they have found this now when its still new rather than later. I'm also extremely thankful for  having insurance and  for having my wonderful supportive family and friends. It really does make a difference.

I don't know how soon i have to get the surgery done but i definitely can't take it for granted.

I have been able to find people who have had thyroid Cancer like actress Sophia Vergara who have been
able to surpass it.

Here is an interview about her Cancer.
http://www.health.com/health/article/0,,20411050,00.html

Read more at http://www.healthboards.com/boards/showthread.php?p=4342380&ktrack=kcplink

Hoping for the best!

"In order to change we must be sick and tired of being sick and tired."

It's been quite a while since I last wrote I haven't had any energy .  Depression has taken over me i have been so worried about my health specially that they have found a goiter on my right side of the neck, so of course i have been freaking out and extremely scared with my health. So that definitely has added more stress.  These day's I've  had to deal with pain chest, knees, arms, and mild headaches. I sound like a broken record but i blame my medication. Unfortunately i hadn't been able to see my doctor any sooner until today!

Now I'm feeling so much better I was able to tell her everything that I'm feeling she checked me out and came to the conclusion that I have a sinus infection that are causing my headaches and ear infection. She also understood my issues with the HBP medication and decided to change it to something more suitable. In the mean time i got blood work done again because i will be having a biopsy on the 5th of October for my enlarged goiter. I am a tad nervous about the biopsy (i've had it done in the past already) and it hurts so bad they basically stab a thick needle onto my neck and leave it there for a while! It feels like someone is cutting off your respiration. Although it hurts i'm willing to put up with it so they can tell me what is wrong with me and maybe that's the root of my hbp! Hopefully my new medication will help me out and not give me so many side effects.

For now im feeling calm and the words of my doctor are still floating in my mind. I love that she's so understandable and honest. Her words are so wonderful and comforting she heard my heart and said that it sounds beautiful just exactly how it should sound. She also keeps telling me that i will be alright that i should stop over analyzing everything. Which im 100% guilty of doing, i have been feeling horrible every little twitch, pain, discomfort i have has sent me into a panic attack. So now i have decided to relax and think positive.

After all I'm very lucky to have the main necessities like my health insurance, a roof over my head and my daily bread!  But more importantly i have a terrific family great friends and loved one's who have been helping me out day after day.

So thank you to all of you guys who have given words of encouragement and have been worried about my daily health! I love everyone around me!

I feel so much better that i even did my nails (for those of you who know me well that's a very good sign)

Take a chill PILL!

"No one truly knows happiness who has not suffered." Henri Frederic Amiel

 I have had two complete days in which i have felt some what like myself minus the mild headache.

The days have been so tough for me i keep trying and trying as soon as i wake up i tell myself "this is the day i will do everything i need to do, but then i remember it's time to take the daily hbp pill and it annoys me so much.

This feeling of anguish and complete discomfort towards my pill has just arisen because after taking it, it has given me horrible depression. I had never really known what depression was (at least not like this) until now.

I get a horrible feeling all around me i fear for my life, i want to shout, scream and cry for no apparent reason.
Just the other day my dad told me to screw on a cable differently from how i was doing it, and a normal 23 year old would just do it and go on with life, but how did i react? i just left it there for him to do it and started crying over nothing and i just don't get it. I know I'm some what emotional and very sentimental but this isn't me I'M NOT MYSELF! i don't over react to little things like that and i know it's the medicine kicking in, but i have had it and i hate taking it with fear that i will once again go through depression.

But this has become my normal routine i wake up happy giving thanks to the lord for yet allowing me another day in this world, but it all goes down hill from there. I have never been as scared as i am now, its a constant battle against myself. I keep asking myself questions why me? Why this? Aren't I to young? At my age Shouldn't i be getting drunk and passing out at clubs, then waking up with a huge hangover ready to do it again? (No I'm kidding i don't ask myself that one lol) Anyways you get the picture!

Don't get me wrong i know I'm not the first nor the last to get hbp but i just wish i knew how they handle
it how do they go day after day taking care of themselves without fear of getting a stroke and dying in the middle of the night! I mean i keep thinking about it and i know i only make it worse on myself but I'm just
terrified of this. I can't seem to let it go, i can't seem to accept it and say "My name is Karla Sorto and i have high blood pressure" how does one do that?

If i get even a little bit of pain on my leg, neck, arm, finger etc... i get so worried and scared, It's some-what hard to describe this constant fear but i am trying really hard to focus on getting better. I am truly working on myself. For almost 2 months i haven't had soda, coffee, candy or any type of Junk food in my system and i truly do feel a sense of accomplishment! I have been exercising daily and it feels good but this little headache that i keep getting is annoying me like crazy. On Saturday it will seriously be 2 weeks of dealing with this headache its not completely bad but it annoys me. No matter what i do it has a way of creeping on me and letting its presence known, whether its at the top of my head, right or left side, neck, forehead, tip of the nose its there and its time to leave.

I am some what relaxed that they did a Cat-Scan on my head and found nothing so i hope its just all the stress and anxiety that I'm going through that has given birth to this annoying headache!

I will for sure see my doctor as soon as possible to see if i can change the medication to something more suitable for my condition. For now i will continue to take the pill and pray for the best.

Thank you for caring and taking time to read about my feelings these days!

Time for a change

I wish my first blog entry would be something more cheerful, but due to recent health problems i feel that it is my duty to write about my health condition. About a month ago i got diagnosed with HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE!!!! Yes at 23 i have high blood pressure and it has hit me very hard. The beginning days were very bad i had horrible depression and extreme anxiety, I actually got diagnosed at the ER. 

It was a Saturday morning and i was just getting better from having bronchitis for nearly 3-weeks. I woke up feeling anxious and scared my heart was pounding out of my chest, I got my dog (Tirza an Australian Shepard) ready put on my tights and went for a walk around the neighborhood hoping i would feel better (of-course it didn't help at all) frighten as i was my dad rushed me to the ER. I was there for nearly 3 hours but it was all worth it they drew my blood and took all kinds of exams the only problem i had was high blood pressure. It wouldn't go down and i was getting extremely anxious and upset of myself  "how could i let this happen?"

To shorten up the story they put me on blood pressure medicine 'Norvasc' a betta blocker that will lower my blood pressure. 

That was the start of a new beginning since then i feel like i have matured in mind and soul. I began researching everything about blood pressure and it is very dangerous if not treated. I'm glad i went to the ER when i did because God knows what would of happen if i wouldn't of gone.

The good news is that blood pressure doesn't run in my family so basically its all in me. Since then i have changed the way i eat (not a diet but a way of life) and i have been exercising daily and I'm glad to say in less than a month i have shed a couple of pounds. 

I still get very anxious when it's time to check my blood pressure at the doctors (I think i have white gown syndrome as well)  But for now my faith has grown and i believe in myself. 

Yesterday i had to go to the ER again because i checked my blood pressure at the drug store and it was very high i got scared and sad that everything i'm doing isn't working. But to be safe i went to the ER they took blood exams a CAT-skan (for my headache) and an X-ray on my chest. Everything is fine and my heart is at a normal rate. My blood pressure went down at the ER and they let me go. 

But my depression level has gone up i fear that my medicine is getting me very depressed so as soon as i can i will seek the help of a homeopathic doctor so i can treat my hbp with natural medicine. 

For now i pray to be enlightened and to have the courage and strength to face this situation, my main priority right now is to take care of myself and improve my health before I do anything else i want to feel and look better the goal is set to at-least improve my health before my 24th birthday in December. 

The days are ticking but i have faith that i will be able to achieve my new goal.


Wishing everyone a great health!