Hoping for the best!

"In order to change we must be sick and tired of being sick and tired."

It's been quite a while since I last wrote I haven't had any energy .  Depression has taken over me i have been so worried about my health specially that they have found a goiter on my right side of the neck, so of course i have been freaking out and extremely scared with my health. So that definitely has added more stress.  These day's I've  had to deal with pain chest, knees, arms, and mild headaches. I sound like a broken record but i blame my medication. Unfortunately i hadn't been able to see my doctor any sooner until today!

Now I'm feeling so much better I was able to tell her everything that I'm feeling she checked me out and came to the conclusion that I have a sinus infection that are causing my headaches and ear infection. She also understood my issues with the HBP medication and decided to change it to something more suitable. In the mean time i got blood work done again because i will be having a biopsy on the 5th of October for my enlarged goiter. I am a tad nervous about the biopsy (i've had it done in the past already) and it hurts so bad they basically stab a thick needle onto my neck and leave it there for a while! It feels like someone is cutting off your respiration. Although it hurts i'm willing to put up with it so they can tell me what is wrong with me and maybe that's the root of my hbp! Hopefully my new medication will help me out and not give me so many side effects.

For now im feeling calm and the words of my doctor are still floating in my mind. I love that she's so understandable and honest. Her words are so wonderful and comforting she heard my heart and said that it sounds beautiful just exactly how it should sound. She also keeps telling me that i will be alright that i should stop over analyzing everything. Which im 100% guilty of doing, i have been feeling horrible every little twitch, pain, discomfort i have has sent me into a panic attack. So now i have decided to relax and think positive.

After all I'm very lucky to have the main necessities like my health insurance, a roof over my head and my daily bread!  But more importantly i have a terrific family great friends and loved one's who have been helping me out day after day.

So thank you to all of you guys who have given words of encouragement and have been worried about my daily health! I love everyone around me!

I feel so much better that i even did my nails (for those of you who know me well that's a very good sign)

Take a chill PILL!

"No one truly knows happiness who has not suffered." Henri Frederic Amiel

 I have had two complete days in which i have felt some what like myself minus the mild headache.

The days have been so tough for me i keep trying and trying as soon as i wake up i tell myself "this is the day i will do everything i need to do, but then i remember it's time to take the daily hbp pill and it annoys me so much.

This feeling of anguish and complete discomfort towards my pill has just arisen because after taking it, it has given me horrible depression. I had never really known what depression was (at least not like this) until now.

I get a horrible feeling all around me i fear for my life, i want to shout, scream and cry for no apparent reason.
Just the other day my dad told me to screw on a cable differently from how i was doing it, and a normal 23 year old would just do it and go on with life, but how did i react? i just left it there for him to do it and started crying over nothing and i just don't get it. I know I'm some what emotional and very sentimental but this isn't me I'M NOT MYSELF! i don't over react to little things like that and i know it's the medicine kicking in, but i have had it and i hate taking it with fear that i will once again go through depression.

But this has become my normal routine i wake up happy giving thanks to the lord for yet allowing me another day in this world, but it all goes down hill from there. I have never been as scared as i am now, its a constant battle against myself. I keep asking myself questions why me? Why this? Aren't I to young? At my age Shouldn't i be getting drunk and passing out at clubs, then waking up with a huge hangover ready to do it again? (No I'm kidding i don't ask myself that one lol) Anyways you get the picture!

Don't get me wrong i know I'm not the first nor the last to get hbp but i just wish i knew how they handle
it how do they go day after day taking care of themselves without fear of getting a stroke and dying in the middle of the night! I mean i keep thinking about it and i know i only make it worse on myself but I'm just
terrified of this. I can't seem to let it go, i can't seem to accept it and say "My name is Karla Sorto and i have high blood pressure" how does one do that?

If i get even a little bit of pain on my leg, neck, arm, finger etc... i get so worried and scared, It's some-what hard to describe this constant fear but i am trying really hard to focus on getting better. I am truly working on myself. For almost 2 months i haven't had soda, coffee, candy or any type of Junk food in my system and i truly do feel a sense of accomplishment! I have been exercising daily and it feels good but this little headache that i keep getting is annoying me like crazy. On Saturday it will seriously be 2 weeks of dealing with this headache its not completely bad but it annoys me. No matter what i do it has a way of creeping on me and letting its presence known, whether its at the top of my head, right or left side, neck, forehead, tip of the nose its there and its time to leave.

I am some what relaxed that they did a Cat-Scan on my head and found nothing so i hope its just all the stress and anxiety that I'm going through that has given birth to this annoying headache!

I will for sure see my doctor as soon as possible to see if i can change the medication to something more suitable for my condition. For now i will continue to take the pill and pray for the best.

Thank you for caring and taking time to read about my feelings these days!

Time for a change

I wish my first blog entry would be something more cheerful, but due to recent health problems i feel that it is my duty to write about my health condition. About a month ago i got diagnosed with HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE!!!! Yes at 23 i have high blood pressure and it has hit me very hard. The beginning days were very bad i had horrible depression and extreme anxiety, I actually got diagnosed at the ER. 

It was a Saturday morning and i was just getting better from having bronchitis for nearly 3-weeks. I woke up feeling anxious and scared my heart was pounding out of my chest, I got my dog (Tirza an Australian Shepard) ready put on my tights and went for a walk around the neighborhood hoping i would feel better (of-course it didn't help at all) frighten as i was my dad rushed me to the ER. I was there for nearly 3 hours but it was all worth it they drew my blood and took all kinds of exams the only problem i had was high blood pressure. It wouldn't go down and i was getting extremely anxious and upset of myself  "how could i let this happen?"

To shorten up the story they put me on blood pressure medicine 'Norvasc' a betta blocker that will lower my blood pressure. 

That was the start of a new beginning since then i feel like i have matured in mind and soul. I began researching everything about blood pressure and it is very dangerous if not treated. I'm glad i went to the ER when i did because God knows what would of happen if i wouldn't of gone.

The good news is that blood pressure doesn't run in my family so basically its all in me. Since then i have changed the way i eat (not a diet but a way of life) and i have been exercising daily and I'm glad to say in less than a month i have shed a couple of pounds. 

I still get very anxious when it's time to check my blood pressure at the doctors (I think i have white gown syndrome as well)  But for now my faith has grown and i believe in myself. 

Yesterday i had to go to the ER again because i checked my blood pressure at the drug store and it was very high i got scared and sad that everything i'm doing isn't working. But to be safe i went to the ER they took blood exams a CAT-skan (for my headache) and an X-ray on my chest. Everything is fine and my heart is at a normal rate. My blood pressure went down at the ER and they let me go. 

But my depression level has gone up i fear that my medicine is getting me very depressed so as soon as i can i will seek the help of a homeopathic doctor so i can treat my hbp with natural medicine. 

For now i pray to be enlightened and to have the courage and strength to face this situation, my main priority right now is to take care of myself and improve my health before I do anything else i want to feel and look better the goal is set to at-least improve my health before my 24th birthday in December. 

The days are ticking but i have faith that i will be able to achieve my new goal.


Wishing everyone a great health!