Step aside 2011...

And make room for 2012!

Hey Everyone hope you have all been enjoying the holidays. I've spent such a great time with my family; and can hardly believe that tomorrow we will be celebrating the New Year to come.

Last year my New Years Eve was horrible it was right after my radiation and i spent it in bed crying. I was in massive pain and didn't think i would make it through this year (2011)

2011 has come and gone where did time go? But i absolutely have no regrets or complaints. I've had a rough year financially, but even rougher time adjusting to my health issues. I feel like i finally managed to control my condition and have learned my body's language. I still get scared, sad, depressed and stressed but its definitely a lot less than before.

About a month ago i was finally told i no longer have any thyroid tissue meaning I'm Cancer free.
I had my yearly check-up and everything came out pretty good. Just have to make some minor adjustments and ill be good to go.

I've learned to eat a lot healthier than before i can proudly say i don't drink soda and try my best to stay away from sodium. (Need to work on my exercising routine for 2012)

I've some-what have learned not to over-analyze every little thing. And I'm trying my best to let things run their course.

One of the biggest highlights and honor of my year was being chosen to be Nicole By OPI blogger of the month (September).  I can hardly believe what a wonderful experience that was.

It gave my nail design blog such a boost and made me realize that i had to follow this dream. Therefore I'm so happy that i started beauty school.

I finish school in February and I'm ecstatic about getting my nail technician license. I've met such wonderful people in that class and I've learned so much more than i ever thought i would learn.

I feel a lot more focused and mature about what i want to do with my life in general.

I'm sure there are a lot more events that happen this year but these are the ones i remember so far.

Other than that my wonderful family, friends and special someone have made this year supper extraordinary.
i couldn't of asked for more.

So farewell 2011 thank you for everything!

New Years resolution: Focus on my health and eating habits, get a job with my career, start traveling and make a lot more nail designs.

Thank you for being part of my blog, hope you all have a wonderful New Years Eve!!! Wishing you all a prosperous new year filled with amazing loved ones, health and everything you might want.


 

Farewell 24 it was good knowing you!!!

What can i say? I dislike goodbyes their always so depressing and negative. 

But I want to try making this last hour  positive. 

Our meeting last year was so quick and some-what rough. I guess we started off on the wrong foot. We were roughed up and bullied all year long. 

But a lot has happen and i must say i have learned so much with you by my side. 

I always used to say that on my birthday i felt the same nothing different just one more number to add to my years in this world. 

But last year when we met it felt so much different. 

I finally realized 24 brought more weight and responsibility than 23.

It took a while to realize the changes i had to do with my life. But i can honestly say i feel more accomplish now. I know what i want with this new number I'm about to meet. I hope i can meet the standards and fulfill each and every responsibility this new number brings.

 It was quite a year full of surprises, struggles and emotions. But  i believe i did a heck of a job dealing with it. I'm more grown up mature this time around. 

Thanks 24 for all the new experiences i shall never forget you. But its time to let you go and make room for 25.

Still counting...

My hands and feet have turn to ice, its supper cold and windy. I get cold chills like crazy around the evening. Its now a year and one month since my surgery. I'm very happy to announce that my doctor finally declared me cancer free. He said from the look of it i no longer have any thyroid tissue left in my body. My dosage is working again so i'm thrilled about that. Hope this dosage is finally the one.

School is great I'm half way done. Already applied for my pre-state board exam. I've learned and continue learning so much. My sleeping habits have been stable. I switched from Melatonin to Valerian and back to Melatonin. I've also adopted a new habit of listening to classical music on Pandora. It relaxes me and puts me to sleep quickly.

I'm really trying to keep my eating habits where they should be. Trying my best to stay away from Cheeses and bread (So difficult) but have to have will power.

The only complain i have is that my stomach still hurts. Its now been 4 months since September that my abdominal pain has lasted. It use to be extremely painful in the morning and would go away during the day. But now its more intense pain below my belly button. I've also been getting a lot of lower back pain.

So i'm worried about that. I've already made an appointment to see my doctor. But im really scared, hopefully it will be something curable.

Anyways thanks for reading. Take care

xoxo Karla-

1 year cancerversary!!!!!

November 5th to many is just another day in the calendar or it could be a birthday, a special date, a test etc.

But for me it will always be "remember remember the 5th of November'  I shall never forget this day. Today marks my 1 year anniversary or more like my cancerversary. Last year around this very same time i was in surgery and still hadn't been told i had thyroid cancer.

What a year it has been, its seems like just yesterday i was laying in that hospital with a new scar on my neck and pouch to drain my blood. I'm very thankful that i made it, i didn't think i would. Its all bittersweet now i feel like a masochist remembering everything that I've been through. But remembering, to me feels like I'm healing.

It almost puts tears to my eyes when i remember how everything changed last year. My whole life was altered i'm no longer the Karla i was last year before this day. I truly believe i have changed almost everything about myself. I no longer take life for granted, i cherish each day that comes and goes. I now think before i do anything. I analyze my life with a lot more details and im trying to change all the negative aspects to positive one's. It's been a struggle, my life was robbed away from my hands. I had to changed dramatically, i grew, matured and have learned to love myself. The things that i may have done last year before this day. I would no longer do. My body changed it has gone through a roller coaster of emotions, symptoms and self adjustment.

But im now starting to understand it. I'm not complete just yet and i do realize this might take weeks, months and years. But i'm willing to do anything in my power to feel complete.

How am I today? Well im doing a whole lot better, i've adjusted to taking my meds on time (Have an alarm to remind me each-day) Always have new symptoms it could be my stomach, uterus, head, eyes, ears etc...  but no matter what i always wonder if its a symptom that has to do with my cancer! I eat a whole lot healthier now, i think before i put that chocolate brownie, or soda in my mouth. I'm a lot more energetic than i was. I take long wonderful naps when my body needs them desperately. I try to relax (still haven't mastered it) but im trying. I cry and let my feelings out when i need to and feel like. I'm on my 5th thyroid dosage hopefully this is the one! I still feel very tired at times, my stomach unfortunately still hurts and i need to get my yearly check-up (which im kind of scared to do.)

I'm less pounds and have reduced body volume. My attitude has changed i no longer let little things get to me or stupid people for that matter. I'm a lot more careful about people trying to hurt me in any way. I can truly say I have learned to love myself. I have discovered great attributes i didn't know i had. I've accomplished some of my goals. I've gained a handful of friends. And I've realized that i should never shut myself from the world.

I'm so thankful for my family, friends and strangers who have become friends. They have all encouraged me with words of wisdom, thoughtful gestures, and have kept me in their prayers. Above all i thank the lord for giving me strength to overcome all these obstacles. I too pray for more guidance and strength to overcome new obstacles that may arise.

Someday i will look at all this and finally say i'm healed but for now i can only say im doing my best to get there.

Thank you to everyone who has been interested in my personal blog.
May you be well. and i'm here, im not planing on abandoning this blog. I do post more on my nail design blog. But this one is very important because it helped me realize what i can do and who i really am.

ill post a picture of my scar later on.

xoxo Karla

New symptoms, same headaches

I'm back so sorry i haven't written in a while, I haven't forgotten about you! I don't think i can ever forget about you lol!

School is awesome i love everything about it, the professor is really great and i'm learning at such a fast pace, everyone is really great. I'm now friends with almost all my class-mates.  and parking is not only free but always there for me lol.

I've been really busy with school, and life in general in search of a job in search of myself. Basically adjusting to my new schedule. I've been trying my hardest i can honestly say that this month i have put in a lot of effort to eat healthy. Fruits, Vegetables, a lot of water and small portions. Luckily my mother has been cooking for me as healthy as she can. Just adding flavors by lemon, pepper or natural herbs. No condiments. She's trying her best to help me out.

I've been able to reduce body volume my clothe fit better i joke about feeling like a dis-inflated balloon lol (I really don't i just say that because my shirts are loose) Anyway although i'm happy that my eating habits have changed and that i do believe this will be a lifetime commitment to my body and my health. I have been struggling with my health this whole month. I've had constant headaches (moving constant headaches its sometimes at the top, side, back of my head and etc........ I don't like it one bit (well duh! who enjoys headaches) Its not only pain but mostly heat that i feel like that part is on fire like a burning sensation specially in the back of my head. Mind you that my wisdom tooth needs to be extracted, my hears have felt full and i think my saliva gland is annoying me again. Also this whole past month i started using the Iphone which im not used too and it might be that my head is annoyed by it. Maybe little by little my body is telling me to learn at a
slower pace.

I've been extremely tired, to the point where i have been taking naps because i don't have any energy whatsoever (although some of my classmates have also been very tired after school and none of them have my condition) So it might be that my body is adjusting to this new routine. Keep in mind that this is my first month out into the world since my surgery.

Last week my neck kept hurting so much and it still hurts it got so bad that my neck was supper stiff. I couldn't move it. That lasted about a whole week. But my neck still feels supper tender.

But i now have a new symptom to add, Since my last period i have been feeling extra sensitive on my stomach. It has hurt nearly everyday upon waking up. When i was on my period i felt that it could be my ovaries since even when i cough i had so much pain in the lower abdomen. Then my whole stomach started hurting exactly in the middle. Now my pain has gone to my lower left side. It hurts everyday and if i put pressure on it hurts even more. Last week around Wednesday i got yet another new symptom. On my back left side at first i thought i had slept the wrong way on my bed. But its now been 4 days and the pain is still there. Now im really worried, I'm getting a stomach ultra-sound this coming up Tuesday. Its really scaring me, i pray that its not something serious.

I did talk to my endo about my fatigue, headaches and lack of energy he drew blood to check my thyroid level, he called to give me my results and said that my thyroid levels are where they should be. I'm not really satisfy with this conclusion i asked him what may be causing all these symptoms and all he said was 'Its not your thyroid its probably something else' ummm really???????? Isn't he my doctor doesn't he have the obligation to find my problem? after all that is why my insurance is paying him so much money each time i go.

He left me with nothing so i'm seriously in search of a new endo this one isn't doing it for me anymore. I just wish i could take his secretary Patty with me to another Endo she's supper nice and so very helpful.

Although this Tuesday im having my stomach ulta-sound done in with him because i need to know whats going on ASAP i do however want to find if possible a female Endocrinologist if anyone knows about one please let me know. Need to also check my ovaries and im thinking of getting my yearly physical done as well. I just need answers im tired of living like this. I'm back to being isolated from my friends its just school and back home. My anxiety is back and i have mild depression. It annoys me to feel like this. But i just need answers.

My parents and i are even thinking of trying to go to Cuba during the holidays. Because im tired of all these doctors, all of my health issues didn't just come out of the blue. There has to be a reason for my condition. I no longer want to be just another number to these doctors i want to be a person who they really invest their time to helping me live my life.

Wish me Luck and please pray for me i'm worried and scared, I hate going to the doctor so much its like a trauma i definitely have white coat syndrome.

So take care of your health you never know how precious it is until you loose it. Drop those Cheetos and Sodas and get yourself some real food.

thanks for stopping by and take care of yourself, I'm trying my hardest!!!! All i need is my health back.

Exercise: Doing Its Job For Cancer Patients (Guest Writer David Haas)

Hey Everyone, David Haas a re-searcher and writer of the benefits of networks and staying physically fit for people going through Cancer.  Wanted to share a very insightful article on this blog.  Check it out.

Physical fitness is not a cure-all for cancer, but it is extremely important to the health and well-being of cancer patients. Exercise can help cancer patients regain the lost energy when going through cancer treatments and even help the treatments do their job in fighting the cancer.

Modern research has examined the benefits of exercise for cancer patients, and the findings are promising. Physical exercise has been shown to reduce the risk of developing certain cancers; reduce the risk of cancer recurrence; improve survival rates for certain cancers; and enhance overall quality of life.

According to the National Cancer Institute (NCI), several studies have examined the relationship between physical activity and various cancers, including breast, colorectal, endometrial, lung, and prostate cancers. The research seems to link exercise, weight, hormone levels, and cancer. While these studies did not look at pancreatic cancer, leukemia, mesothelioma, and other cancers, it is evident that exercise has benefits for all cancer patients.

Exercise Benefits For Cancer Patients

Conventional cancer treatments, such as radiation and chemotherapy, are proven methods of fighting cancer cells. However, these aggressive treatment methods come with many negative side effects. Physical exercise can improve the side effects during and after treatment.

Fatigue is a common cancer symptom and treatment side effect. It can start from the time of diagnosis and last long after the last cancer treatment. While many cancer patients feel too tired to exercise, physical activity can actually increase energy and reduce fatigue.

Most cancer patients also experience stress, depression, and sleep problems. Exercise releases endorphins that improve mood and reduce depression and anxiety. By lowering the stress hormones, exercise helps patients sleep better, too.

Weight gain is another common side effect of cancer treatment, especially hormonal therapies used in prostate and breast cancer treatment. The steroids in some chemotherapy medicines also cause weight gain. Exercise, along with a healthy diet, can reduce or control weight gain.

Bone thinning is another side effect of hormone therapy, and this increases a cancer patient’s risk of osteoporosis. Walking, dancing, and other weight-bearing exercises can strengthen bones and reduce this risk.

Other benefits of exercise for cancer patients include pain reduction, improved balance and coordination, increased appetite, stronger muscles, and better digestion. Of course, it is important to seek medical advice before starting an exercise program. Whether they are in mesothelioma treatment, recovering from a mastectomy, or starting chemotherapy, cancer patients should consult with their doctor about the best kind of exercise for them.

My wonderful experience at OPI

Hey Everyone its been such a long time since i last posted anything i missed my 10 month count. Anyways i'm doing alright although i pray each day to feel better. I'm just going through my thyroid symptoms and a whole lot of other stuff. Hopefully everything is under control. But anyways im back in society i have officially began school (last week) and although i'm still adjusting to being out and stuff. I'm feeling so much better. My manicurist class is awesome i love it. So i've been meaning to share with you guys my fabulous news. I posted all about it on my nail blog and you can check it out to read all about my experience in the factory and stuff.

So check it out at Originail Kolors. Here's the interview that Crista Funk did on me. I can only say that it was by far an incredible experience. Also stay tune on my Originail Kolors blog for a chance to win my nail polish giveaway.

Also check out www.nicolebyopi.com to see the awesome design they did for. 

Blogger Spotlight - Originail Kolors

Submitted by Crista Funk on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 14:10

Nothing is more gratifying than learning that our products help people through hard times. And that’s exactly what it did for the owner of the nail art blog Originail Kolors, Karla. She was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in late 2010 and after suffering from anxiety, depression and stress, was forced to leave college. With nothing to do, and a fear that her friends wouldn’t understand what she was going through, she focused her time on polishing her nails. Now nine months after her diagnosis, she’s found her life passion-creating unique designs unfathomable by many of us.

Karla stopped by the Nicole by OPI office recently for a facility tour and awed us with her sweet personality and nail art skills. She spoke candidly about nail lacquers role in her recovery and gave three Nicole gals memorable manis. See what she had to say and the designs we rocked all that week below.

 

How did you get into doing nails?
I’ve always been passionate about nail art, but I didn’t have good polishes to work with until high school. I worked for my school paper and we would be in class all day. I would stare at my nails and they weren’t polished. It drove me crazy, so I started doing my nails. After I started college, things got hectic. I got really sick in June of last year and had to quit school. Before I quit I met this woman who told me her mom was moving and had a bunch of nail polish that she couldn’t take with her. She asked if I wanted them and I said sure. She gave them all to me-70 or 80 bottles of OPI. I had surgery November 5th for my thyroidectomy and it was discovered that I had cancer.  At night, to ease my anxiety and depression, I just started to do my nails. As I was doing them, it would take me to a completely different world. I would forget what I was doing and I would just concentrate on the art. That is how I started.

 Were you just polishing your nails before?
Yeah. Sometimes I was doing simple flowers, but that was it. With the Harry Potter nails I did I was like, I really have to make something cool out of this. It took me three days to do his face. It was my first design. Once I did it though, I thought that I really needed to start doing more of this.

Do you always do designs now or do you ever have a single color of lacquer on your nails?
I always do designs. I can’t stand just having my nails polished a single color. It’s just crazy. I have to do a flower or a dot or something.

You have 3D art on your nails right now, how did you figure out how to do that?


I’ve been researching a lot about how to do nails. That’s how I started my blog. I had a blog for my every day life, kind of about my illness, and then I wanted to separate my illness from the nail art. I didn’t want people to just see me as a cancer patient, but better yet a nail artist. I did explain on my nail blog that I had cancer, but that wasn’t the focus. I started my nail blog in January. I started posting pictures after the OPI holiday contest.

You just researched 3D art and taught yourself then?
I kept researching it and the Japanese have this great 3D art. I saw online that they sold molds where you just do the acrylics and then pop out the molds. I bought stuff on eBay, but I didn’t have the brush. I’m not an expert, as I said, and I couldn’t get it to work right. My mom took me to this salon downtown and this girl told me what brushes to use.  I just started doing these last week and it worked out well. I did them on press-on nails and then put them on.

 

What do you enjoy most about doing nail art?
I love the self-expression and having art on my nails.  I love when people tell me they love my nails. It’s very calming to me and I love seeing my hard work.

How often do you polish your nails?
Now, I probably paint them every other day. I have so many polishes, I have to or they won’t get used.

We completely understand that. I think there are people who have lacquers they haven’t even tried yet. 
Absolutely. I think I have some of those. I seriously spend 30 minutes trying to figure out what colors to use. That’s why I have to have an idea of what design to do before starting, because if not I’ll stand there forever.

You want to go to school to become a nail tech, right? Are you currently enrolled?
I plan to enroll by end of August. There is a waiting list. If I get in I would start in September.

 

Do you want to focus on doing nail for a living? 
I do. I want to make a career of this. I want to concentrate on nail art. It would be great to work with an agency that works with celebrities and do their nails or something like that.

Have you done designs on other people?
Yes, I started doing them because a friend asked if I would do her nails. I wasn’t confident to say yes at first. She said she would pay me anything and really pushed, so I said ok. I was so nervous, but after that everyone kept asking me to do their nails.

When you tried to start doing your nails, was it hard to do designs on your right hand? 
It was extremely hard. Because of my illness I was going through a lot of hormonal changes-it affects my sight and coordination. It’s hard to do something when the coordination of my hands is off. Now I manage to do it. Sometimes I’ll just do one hand and the other hand something simple. It’s really hard. The only things I’ve become an expert at doing on my right hand are roses. I can almost do those better than on my left hand.

Where are you today with thyroid cancer?
It’s very strange. I got my entire thyroid removed. That affected my mood swings, my metabolism, and my hormones. It’s a very important body part. I can’t sleep often, I get dizzy, and I get headaches. It changed my lifestyle. I just have to try though. I don’t know if I am in remission yet, but now it’s just living with everything. It’s just been hard adjusting. But like I said, nail lacquer and my art have helped tremendously.
It’s great that you have this force in your life that is helping and you are very

 

good at it. What is your favorite nail design so far?
My birthday one I did last year. I did a self-portrait; and then a birthday cake, some balloons and a party hat. I think that’s my favorite one.

How did you decide that you wanted to start doing the different countries theme seen on your blog now?
I have friends who travel a lot and they travel all over the world. I love learning about other cultures - the traditions and holidays. So my friend was talking about Israel and I decided I was going to challenge myself, I would research countries and then do a nail design on each.  I said I would do it for a month, but I think I’m going to extend it. I’m going to continue to do it whenever I can so I can learn about new countries.

For other designs that aren’t country-focused, how are you coming up with those ideas? Such as the cupcake ones you did awhile back. 
My friend wanted cupcakes and I had never done them before. It was her birthday, so I gave it a try. I just did Edgar Allen Poe nails. There was a screening of the movie coming up and it just inspired me to try to do nails themed after the film. If I am going to go to the beach or movies, I’ll just come up with a theme to match.

Do you usually stick with cream finishes or do you use glitters and shimmers?  
I will use glitters every once in awhile.  I mainly stick to creams though. If I’m doing something youthful and flirtatious, like my flower nails now, I will do glitters.

Have you used Nicole colors to do your designs?
I love the colors from the One Less Lonely Girl collection. I especially like My Lifesaver.  I have about 60 Nicole by OPI bottles. I love the colors and I love the Target Exclusives. My favorites are definitely My Lifesaver and Nicole’s Nickel.

What types of tools do you use?
Actually, my only tool is a dotting tool. I have brushes, but I’ve never used them.

Even if you are drawing faces or something you only use a dotting tool?
Yep, that’s it. The other side is a fine tip.

 

Do you polish your nails a solid color first and then start the design? How thick is the polish on the nails?
I do a base color, let it dry and then after 10 minutes I begin the design. You can’t have it too thick because then you will get creases or dents in it. I have used acrylic craft paints, because it dries fast and it’s thinner.

What advice would you give someone who wants to do nail art?
Just don’t be shy. Just go for it. If you think you have a clear picture in your mind of what you want to do, you’ll be able to do it.  It’s just takes a lot of practice. Practice, practice, practice. You will get something in the end. Never give up.

You’ve spent the last nine months working on nail art and growing your skill, what is the overall role nail lacquer plays in your life?
It has played an extremely important role. It is probably one of the most important things in my life right now. My room kind of revolves around my nail lacquer.  Not only has it helped me figure out what I want to do in life, for a career, but it also has helped me emotionally.  There are days when I am really stressed and I just look at my bottles-they make me happy.

For more about Karla and to see the incredible designs mentioned here and more head to her site, Originail Kolors.

Special email from a special new friend

I've been meaning to write but I've kept putting it off. I'm doing good haven't had depression, and my melatonin is officially my best friend. No more insomnia hurray woot woot! My stomach has been a little bit weird these days but i expect it will get better soon. 

I've been way more social and have been able to hang out with cool friends. Maybe that's why i feel so much better! Things are a little better here at home although i need a job asap this financial crisis isn't good one bit.

I have a lot of goals and plans lined up so have to step it up with that. Tomorrow is my school registration so cross all your fingers that i'm able to get into my dream class. I have fantastic news to share but can't say what it is until September 1st but its beyond belief amazing.

Oh so a while ago i found such a powerful and great email in my inbox. It made me tear up and feel so special. Check it out, she's so amazing and i feel like i can relate to her. She's my new good friend Michi

Thank you so much for the wonderful email it meant a lot to me! 

Hi Karla,

 

I have a very dear friend who I used to teach with, she recommended me to check out your blog (Helen Nosrati) and I’m so glad I did.  

 

I LOVED..loved…LOVED reading that you’ve taken on your depression with creativity, that’s AWESOME!  

 

I was diagnosed with my thyroid disease in 2009 and just like you I’ve dealt with the depressions and madness of thyroid cancer.  I truly thought that I was alone and no one could possibly understand what I was going through.  I kept thinking this can’t be happening to me, I’m too young (35)!  But it was…and eventually the medication stopped working for me, I was losing my hair, my skin was dry and itchy, my nails were brittle and I had protruding eyes that were painful.  And that was just on the outside. I was always exhausted, the migraines were unbearable, the depression was the hardest to deal with along with the hormonal roller coaster we go through (If I wasn’t screaming at someone like a mad woman, I was crying hysterically like a baby).  Gladly, I had a Total Thyroidectomy last year and have noticed significant improvements not only emotionally but physically as well.  I am cancer free now and hopefully forever (Yay)!   

My hair grew back (curly-really weird??) my nails are growing stronger than ever, and my emotions are under control (most of the time..lol).   I feel a whole lot better, but I’m not 100% yet.  I was honestly petrified and outraged when my doctor said the word “Surgery” to me.  But it was one of the best decision I’ve ever made.  Now, I wasn’t sure if you have graves’ disease or not, at least you don’t show signs of it if you do.  Graves’ disease is common with thyroid diseases but most woman won’t develop it.   Unfortunately, I was not so lucky.  But I have a wonderful husband  and family who stuck through it with me, God bless them!  

 

 

I just wanted to stop by and tell you how extremely proud I am of you that you’ve taken this “Wild Bull” by the horn and are dealing with it phenomenally. You are an amazing young lady and I wish you all the best in the world. God knows we truly deserve that and much more after dealing with all this.   Keep doing what you love, it will help you stay focused and keep you motivated no matter how hard times get (and they do get bad).   I don’t want to take up any more of your time, but I did want to let you know that if you ever need anything or have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me.   

 

And P.S. I do LOVE your nail art!!  Especially the Harry Potter ones..LOL

 

Take care,

Michi Marrero

Give me a break Please

I'm an emotional wreck these days, I keep experiencing high highs and low lows (does that make sense) and its driving me crazy. Last week i had such a good Friday & Saturday i received fantastic news (which i can't wait to share)  Anyways it was all very good shouldn't i be happy? No i keep crying, for nearly anything.

I finally got to go to my endo and i was ecstatic that my blood pressure was finally stable and i felt great. I've even lost some weight since i have really stuck to healthy eating (NO JUNK FOOD) and I've been exercising. But my non-welcome friend is back (Depression) and he just keeps pushing my buttons. My endo also put me on a higher thyroid medication dosage i went from Levothyroxine 125mcg to 150mcg and my poor stomach is trying to take it all in. It's only been 4 days since i started taking it and ever since my stomach feels like a complete thunderstorm i have cramps, pain, and i can't seem to eat anything. I just called my endo to see what he has to say about it. But it worries me that this keeps happening. Frankly I'm so tired of this I'm really trying my best to cheer up, to look at life from a different perspective and to accept my condition. But all this makes me question everything and I'm tired i want to cry. I need a break if it isn't one thing it's always something else. Need this madness to end.

It doesn't help when I'm missing my special someone. I need him so much he comforts me and always helps me feel so much better.  But all in time right? i really hope its meant to be. Well hopefully ill find a solution quick so i can get back into society.

Wishing everyone health
xoxo
-Karla-

Not feeling so good today!

Anxiety and stress has been taking over me today. I can't stand it makes me want to cry for no particular reason. It's just so annoying i wish i had one whole day of knowing that tomorrow i wouldn't have any anxiety or these kinds of feelings. I still can't sleep when night falls it feels like torture. My heart palpitations have been annoying me again, would usually come around before my period. But these days they have been present almost every day. I've tried my best, today i did my nails which usually does the trick but not today.

Yesterday my mom and i went to try to get some piece of mind by watching a screening. It was way too full but we were able to get free passes to watch Horrible Bosses. We really enjoyed it, but now it seems like a distant joyful memory. I wish my joys would last. But they don't and it bothers me is it me or is it my Thyroid?

No matter how hard i try these annoying thoughts, feelings, mood swings fluctuate from 1-10.

Tomorrow i will see my Endocrinologists im hopping he will help me to get some piece of mind!

Wish me Luck!

-Karla-

I've found some peace of mind!

I have found a really wonderful place that i feel understands everything im going through. It's called 'Dear Thyroid' the cute narrows it down to what it's about. But it's more than that it's to give awareness of thyroid cancer. I wrote my letter to them so check it out!

you can also read it here http://dearthyroid.org/a-whisper-a-word-cancer/

Dear Thyroid:

On November 5th 2010 (almost 8months now), I went in for a partial thyroidectomy, and came out with a complete thyroidectomy and with my surgeon’s words on my ear “Karla you did wonderful but we had to take it all out, because it was Cancer”. I was pretty sedated when he told me and made the mistake of breaking it to my parents in that condition…

This is my story of my missing bow:

Ever since I can remember, when I would go for regular check-ups, my pediatricians would always imply something about my thyroid. I would get my thyroid levels checked and everything always came back normal. But I was always on the chunky side, so that was always one of the main topics of discussion. After I graduated high school, I started seeing a new doctor. From the very beginning, she didn’t like the small lump on my neck, and immediately sent me to get a biopsy. Unfortunately, I never got those results. I let it slide for quite a while.

With each yearly check-up, the biopsy came up and she continued to send me for biopsies. I had about 3 biopsies that came  back unclear, but noted that I had an existing nodule/goiter. Being the procrastinator that I am, I let my nodule/goiter slide. Until July of last year 2010 when I had a severe bronchitis that lasted about 3 weeks, followed by a visit to the ER for anxiety/dehydration/depression.  (I was also diagnosed with high blood pressure and was placed on medication.) After all that, I was a complete wreck. I was depressed all the time. I did a follow up with my regular doctor.

She gave me bronchitis medication and also told me that I had lost nearly 12 pounds in 3 weeks due to my bronchitis. During the check-up, she went straight for my neck and saw a much bigger lump then she recalled; it wasn’t that visible to me. She sent me to an ENT. He sent me for yet another biopsy, which hurt really badly. When my results came back, he told me that Hurtle cells were present and he wanted me to meet with a surgeon immediately. After hearing that, I left his office filled with anxiety and tears. I met with my surgeon, Dr. Kerner. my guardian. He explained the whole procedure and that he was sure that it wouldn’t be cancer; due to my age and non existing family history of thyroid disease. Two-weeks went by. My surgery was scheduled on Friday November 5th 2010.

I was completely scared, + the rainy weather didn’t help at all. I didn’t think I would make it, because my family has had issues with anesthesia. The wait seemed like hours and my nerves got the best of me. I have thin veins, therefore the nurses tried both my arms, wrists, even the top of my hands, which hurt really badly,  for about 10x’s until finally the anesthesiologist came to my rescue. He was able to locate my vein on the 2nd try and start the IV. I said my, “see you later’s” to my parents and was transported via hospital bed to the surgery room. The bright lights, blue nurses and cold room sent me into a panic attack. When they wrapped me up, being claustrophobic. it didn’t help. They were very friendly and got me talking. Then, I was completely knocked out until my surgery was over. 

My 3-day recovery in the hospital was emotionally draining. I didn’t have any severe pain, just the loss of my voice, a severe sore throat and lack of movement. No appetite, oh yeah, and a little pouch over my chest draining my blood. It all seemed like a dream. I was so glad to be back home. While in my bed for the very first hour, it finally hit me, I had cancer at the age of 23. I just began to cry. I couldn’t really sit up straight. I felt completely sorry for myself. After each visit to the doctor or to the hospital for my full body scans and the radiation pill, I became very depressed. I started to do hand drawn nail art to calm myself down. Sometimes it would work. Sometimes it didn’t. I would make my mother sleep with me day after day because I was scared to be on my own.

Now that it’s been almost 8 months since my surgery, I’m still having quite a lot of issues, like anxiety, depression,  heart palpitations and insomnia. All of it still scares me, to think of what I’ve gone through. I  began a blog dedicated to my thyroid that has helped me a lot. I know that I need a lot of mental and emotional support. What I’ve been through still scares me. I began a blog dedicated to my thyroid that has helped me a lot. I know that i need a lot of mental, emotional and physical help and support to help surpass all this. I feel like the shock is over. I’m stuck with the trauma of it all. My family, friends and loved one’s have helped me so much and continue lending a hand to my recuperation.

I was very glad, and delighted to find such a cute blog dedicated to thyroid issues. It will help me re evaluate myself and learn things that I didn’t know about.

Thank you so much for allowing me to share my story, and i hope it helps girls my age that are going through what I’m going through know that their not alone.

-Karla-

It's all bitter sweet -HARRY POTTER IT ALL HAS ENDED-

Just got back home from watching the midnight screening of Harry Potter and Deathly Hollows part 2! It's 3 am but i can't contain myself i must write this blog entry. I'm all shocked up i can't describe how i feel its all so bitter sweet. A big part of my life has ended, and i mean that to the whole extend of the word. The movie was phenomenal (bloody brilliant) lol exiting, funny, adventures, action packed, sad, emotional etc....... so many emotions at once. That Theater roared with cheers, applause's, laughter's and tears (although i couldn't manage to squeeze not even one tiny tear lol) But overall I'm so happy.

My Harry Potter journey began in 6th grade, i had to give an oral book report presentation and i remember i saw the book at Best Buy  bought it and immediately fell completely in love with it. Onto the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th and finally the 7th (yes i'm one of those the book HP Nerd) lol and then the movies came and i am proud to announce that i was able to watch every single one of the HP movies in theater. That's quite an accomplishment lol. Anyways it feels so good and i'm so proud of how it has all ended. This was a big part of my life and i should say my whole entire generation world wide. I will never forget the anticipation we would get after each movie would end to watch the next one in line. But now it's so weird no Harry Potter next year!

But i will forever hold and treasure all the memories i hold to my dear character Harry Potter. It's now time to grow up (well right after Twilight that is)

As a tribute to Harry Potter last Friday Andrea and i hosted a Harry Potter party. And i must say it was so much fun. All of our guest came dressed in Harry Potter attire and it was just fantastic.

Good night
xoxo
-Karla-

here are the fotos:

the Harry Potter feast

My Nail Design 

Right hand

ONLY IN AMERICA do we let killers go free!

My head hurts, it's been to long of a day! I'm sad and frustrated. But i know most of the country is feeling the same. Baby Caylee Anthony didn't get her justice, her mother Casey Marie Anthony will walk free. And the little angel will never see the light of day.

If u haven't been following this horrible case let me inform you a bit. In 2008 this pathological liar (Casey) killed her baby Caylee (2-years-old), and for a whole month she didn't inform authorities or anyone else. In that month while her baby was already dead she partied like crazy got a tattoo that read 'La Bella Vita' which is the beautiful life in Italian; and probably did a number of countless things that we will never know. Until her mother confronted her and finally called the police. In the months to come this killer lied lied lied to everyone even the cops. She made up invisible friends,boyfriends,jobs, etc...... even a nanny (Zanny the Nanny) all she could say was i have no idea where Caylee is (seriously what kind of mother doesn't care about her own child gone missing for 31 days? Anyways Caylee's body was finally found on December (decomposed) and just a completely horrible scene.

according to CNN Justice "Prosecutors alleged Anthony used chloroform to render her daughter unconscious and then duct-taped her mouth and nose to suffocate her. They alleged that she put the child's body in the trunk of her car for a few days before disposing of it," SERIOUSLY????????

Now finally until 2011 justice was going to be served. The trial lasted about  6 long weeks, the prosecution was right on track they presented all the evidence, pictures, back stories and even defended her parents (which after reading other articles i believe they are guilty) 

But on Tuesday July 5th the jurors were to deliberate the verdict. Everyone thought we would get closure from seeing this monster get 1st degree murder along with the death penalty, but what happen they found her NOT GUILTY! I was disgusted, shocked, flabbergasted etc.......

I couldn't believe it, this killer throughout the whole trial looked relaxed, happy (would even smile) and cry on cue when they would speak about her. She never cried for her baby, would just bow her head down when they would show evidence. So how is it that now she's free? How is it that 12 people out of everyone who knew she was guilty went in to prove other wise????????

I don't get it at all HLN (which had the complete coverage) reporters,lawyers, Judges believed justice would be served. But they too seemed surprised and full of rage.

Anyways this killer will probably walk free coming Thursday (a lot of people will be waiting outside for her) but what will she do? how can she face society knowing that deep in her rotten cold heart she hides the truth!

 Well only in America do we have such a corrupt justice system. She's seriously the next O.J Simpson.
I'm sure she will become rich in no time (every magazine, book publishers, media outlets will be hounding her like dogs to speak about her experience) Heck she might even get her own reality show (HOW TO KILL YOUR CHILD AND GET AWAY WITH IT) very very disgusting!

I honestly feel for this baby! And it sadness me to think that she's not the first nor the last to do this, and who knows how many more that we won't ever find out. But this case just open the door to all those killers.

Kill your children and then lie about it because you'll get a pat on the back later on.

All i can say is Rest In Peace Caylee Anthony! Only God will do Justice for u!

Caylee Anthony!

   

I'M finally insured

I'm sweating ballz here, it's extremely hot and our A/C isn't working properly. I've been a tad sick with the flu and insomnia. But i think this heat is the one to blame for it. Depression has hit me a bit but maybe my T3 levels are down or something.

I am extremely happy to announce that i finally have insurance again!!!!!! Yeay woot woot, seriously when i got my insurance card in the mail i felt like i was getting a big OPI collection ha ha ha (i wish).

No words can describe how happy i am, after almost 3 months without insurance i finally have it. I feel safe it's so odd and I know it sounds crazy but i appreciate my health insurance so much. You don't realize what you have until u loose it. And trust me i appreciate it to the max now. Tomorrow is officially 8 months since my surgery and to be honest it has felt way longer than that. I think ill wait a while until i schedule an appointment with my Endo. But i'm pretty sure ill be alright. I've been trying my best to exercise, my mom, sister and i have become obsessed with the 'JustDance 2 wii game' we officially know all the moves and boy does it make u sweat. My eating habits have to improve, i get carried away with skipping meals or eating late.

In other news  i want my own Nail website, I've been trying to create one but it's been so difficult. But once i figure out how to do it, and have a budget for it. I will create one for my nail designs i plan to make it my future career. My nail tech class will begin in September, in the meantime I'm doing nail designs for fun.
Don't forget to check out and follow my blog at  http://karlasnaildesign19.blogspot.com/ it recently got a make-over with a cool banner.

Happy 4th of July be safe!
xoxo

Karla

'Welcome to my world'

I love my house so much and i love my room despite the fact that at this very moment i don't feel too good in it but that's a whole other issue. This is my own oasis. Took this collage of pictures for a room contest still haven't heard anything from them but it was fun taking pictures of my favorite things in my room.

a brief description of my favorite things in my room I will begin from the Top left side going clock wise: My world wall i've posted postcards and little souvenirs from around the world (haven't been there myself but have gotten them as gifts) also have things that i've made myself like my light switched, then we have my wonderful white wood desk (which i love so much) then its my door a la Andy Warhol (kisses by my 2 sisters and myself) then some of my jewelery and stuff i like, my (at times comfy bed), Midnight and Rainbow (my beta fish), my cool designed (by yours truly) pill box Sunday broke so i now use a rubber band to keep it in place. Ahh one of my favorite items in my room are my nail polish collection (OPI's, Orly, Essie, Nicole by OPI, Sally Hansen etc......... my hand made mermaid box those are real shells from El Salvador, and last but not least my bracelet rack with Starbucks stickers.

S.O.S

3:18 am yet another sleep less night, tossing and turning once again there's no way i can sleep. Not one bit i'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown im feeling scared, anxious, annoyed so extremely sad. I don't comprehend what goes on in my body anymore. Had a regular day tried to eat as healthy as i could even went for a long nice walk smelled and felt the wonderful breeze of green plants and trees.

I don't get it one bit and it drives me crazy how can i not think about my health when i don't feel normal, i try to lay down and the very second i do i hear my heart pounding under my breast on my fingers i mean its just driving me crazy, i feel like im insane. I don't know if its my mind or if its my body i can no longer differentiate what is going on. It's just so difficult and i feel like i can't take it! no matter how hard i try  this is just way bigger than me.

I feel trapped right now i feel like i have to put on a brave face till July 1st when hopefully (fingers crossed) i will be able to have my new insurance. So this is just such a difficult task i've been tempted to go wake up my mom so she can keep me company. I swear im desperately searching for companion i dislike being a lone its just like before all over again. I don't feel safe in my room anymore i no longer have that wonderful feeling of going to bed, relaxing and enjoying the feeling of being alone. I guess im going through depression again i really seriously am very concern for my well being.

Believe me i try my hardest, but i've been noticing that the things that i was doing before like painting my nails and that sort of think no longer help me. I try to read, watch tv, draw, write etc......... and its just not helping one bit.

I forget things so quickly im seriously worse than a gold fish or even like Dory (from Nemo) i guess maybe my thyroid levels could be down again. Or my hormones are playing games on me. I have that weird feeling like twitches in different parts of my body which is probably my calcium levels. I just feel like i need to vent and have a good cry to let out how im feeling. Seriously as soon as i have my insurance i will seek a psychologist i feel like i need therapy to help me out with my emotions and just everything that is going on.

Feels like my digestive system is having some kind of issue as well. My stomach hurts here and there and  i just have the need to vomit (which i didn't today) but still its just so annoying.

I need to find a solution i don't think i can take these restless nights anymore i need my sleep. Seriously pray for me im scared i don't know what to do anymore.


Confused and very annoyed!

-Karla-

It's Sunday

Sunday Evening, i've had a pretty good day. Woke up a bit late because i wasn't able to sleep last night had anxiety, tossing and turning and a major stomach ache of course i had to vomit in order to feel better. But even then took about 2 more hours and tea to make fall asleep at around 3 or 4 am.

Right after i woke up i ate and went for a brisk walk up the hill (what a hill). Felt really good came back took a shower ate a healthy breakfast then got ready to go out so everything felt good until about now that it's 8 im feeling a bit un-easy no heart palpitation just somewhat odd. I don't like this feeling but im not understanding myself at all. I think im just really missing that special someone that i haven't heard from in like a month and a half. I just don't know but i felt like writing i want to record how i feel. Besides that i feel like im doing good i've been eating  right and feel good about it. I think i just have to motivate myself like Anthony always says "you think too much' and i honestly do think way too much. What a problem. Anyways i've gotta go i want to try to hit the hay early today!


xoxo
-Karla-

My June Resolution

I've had so much on mind these past few days, haven't slept much. Its been really hard to beat my late night thoughts. I had a panic attack last night it was really scary, so i hadn't checked my blood pressure in a while (because i get really anxious) but i checked it at a store and it was pretty high 146/103 with a 90 pulse i lost it for a while. Called my insurance nurse and she went over some guidelines and recommendations. I do have to mention that i am on my period and i have been noticing a pattern. Last time when i went to the ER for hbp i was on my period as well, so i need to find out if its relevant. I have a feeling my bp elevates when on my menstrual cycle. Anyways It was a bit hard to sleep after all that but i managed with my mother by my side.But i sort of woke up and realized that i can beat this i can totally lower my blood pressure and become healthy, i just have to push myself to do it.

I started thinking that its now been 8 months since my surgery and thank God my surgery went well I'm now feeling much better and i have some how learned to cope with my condition. But I've been in denial mode, since my surgery i haven't eaten healthy, worked out (well at least now how i should) but instead I've been slaking off a lot. Which in my defense has been a way of ignoring my health conditions. I know not good at all, i feel like I've gained weight and it shouldn't be happening. I've been eating very irresponsibly and out of control. Skipping meals and that sort of stuff. Also when it comes to my pills i have an alarm but at times i ignore the alarm and drink my pills an hour or two after the time i should of taken them. I've even forgotten to take them about three times out of the whole entire time I've been taking them.

And quite honestly its frustrating me that I've been irresponsible about my health condition. So from today and on i have made a vow to myself that i will try my hardest to keep. I vow to do the impossible to improve my health condition. I know i can do it, i just need to find that motivation and self assurance to just go out and do it. I did start today i began to eat my oatmeal and pills on time, i plan to have a food journal i have found it to work. My goal is to be at least 5-10 pounds lighter (or even more if i can) by mid to the end of August when i have my next appointment with my Endocrinologist. So wish me luck because there's time there's no going back my priority is my health and therefore i will do it.

Wish me luck and i will keep you posted on how I'm doing it. Oh almost forgot, took a picture of my scar here it is looks much much better what do you think?

 sorry for the creepy picture, need to find much better angles. But there's my scar looking way better.

P.s
Need to learn how to cook A.S.A.P + in desperate need to change the name of my blog i don't like 'these magic moments' to cliche.

xoxo -Karla-

OH It's that time of the month...

Just came back from having a great time with my friend Liat whom i haven't seen for over 9 months! Since she was out of the Country. Watched Judd Apatow's 'Bridesmaids' film it was hilarious. I must say my favorite quote out of the whole movie was the 'Put your American sausage in my English McMuffin' ha ha ha! It was just amazing being back in a theater i had truly missed it, 1st of all because i hadn't been to the movies since 'Harry Potter part 1' came out, and secondly because Liat is my primary movie buddy.

Anyways I want to concentrate on what happens to me 3 days or even a week before my Period Yes as in MY MENSTRUAL CYCLE, well now its not only 'oh its that time of a month' but it's my sleep deprive time of the month. Thankfully i've been getting regular and very normal periods. But prior to my cycle i experience a lot of things that just make me go crazy.


My heart beats out of my chest like i can seriously feel it, even if i'm chillaxing i can still feel it, (and trust me it's not only in my head) so it gets so bad i will try to ignore it by listening to music, doing my nail art i mean i've tried so many things like warm tea, slow music, reading a book, my mom has even given me massages to soothe me but trust me it just won't work.

So i have to Indore with 3 sleepless nights i will just toss and turn and toss and turn and just toss and turn over and over and over again. There's seriously no telling when i can catch a break. It has become this annoying routine that i just hate. This whole ordeal seriously brings back my whole memory of everything i have gone through and it stresses me out. Right now with the whole insurance issue i can't see my doctor but when i can i will find out what it is. I think the theory that my cardiologist had about having some kind of hormone in-balance is right. Anyways so since i wasn't able to sleep since Monday night and i know tonight won't be the exception, i just wanted to share this crucial part of my monthly activity. I know that as soon as i get my period this will stop like i will get my usual one day bad cramps and dark chocolate cravings. But at least i'm able to sleep so nowadays i prefer to be on my period then wait for it to come!

So weird but as i'm writing instead of trying to sleep im feeling a lot better like relaxed.

Well that's that for today, Goodnight and wishing everyone health, and wellness.
xoxo

-Karla-

Gotta come back more often!

Hello everyone! I seriously have to start writing more often on this blog. I've been dedicating most of time on my other blog the one dedicated to my nail designs. I love how it has come out, although i wish i would be computer savy to create an amazing blog with links and all those fun stuff that others do. In the mean time I've gotten a lot more experience with doing other girls nails (besides myself) and I love it!

So far i've done two photo-shoots a total of 5 designs and i've gotten such amazing feedback (it truly feels wonderful).

I'm alright although i've had my nights filled of anguish and despair like before. But i think im just a little stressed out about my insurance that is giving me such a big headache. Let me just give you a brief description of what's going on. In a recent post i wrote about how i had outgrown out of my dad's insurance and therefore i had to go into a government program called payflex Cobra well! I did and i managed to pay the first beginning months but the next bill that came, i was completely tapped out and i couldn't make my payment on time. So i got kicked out and i had to file a petition which i did like a week and a half ago. I won't get my answer till tomorrow hopefully. I really do hope they allow me back because i might face serious consequences with my real insurance in July. And i really really really need my insurance badly.

5/31/2011
I wasn't able to finish the above post, regarding my insurance i wasn't able to get a straight answer out of them but i think it will al be alright hopefully. Until then im just not going to think about it, (will continue to ignore all the bills that i get) lol jk Anyways let me just end this post by saying that i have two very colorful betta fish in my room, so far i have been caring for them about 3 weeks! Guess my im now in level 2 of betta fish caring lol. I'm going to end this now so i can start a completely new post! ciao ciao

wishing everyone health
xoxo Karla

7 months! + my bunnies

Off by a day! But yesterday marked 7 months since my surgery. Haven't had any serious changes, my hair is stabled falls off just a tiny bit. Although im sick with some kind of allergy or the flu. The weather is kind of crazy fogy and breezy in the morning and hot and sunny by noon. So it could also be the weather. Well i've been busier lately i'm really experimenting with my nail products because i plan to make a career off of it. I've also been reading, i was able to read 'Water for Elephants' by Sara Gruen it was so good i really liked it, actually made me want to go to the circus. I plan on watching the movie soon since its already out in theaters and the trailer looks very good.

Anyways last week i went to the LA Book Festival that was held in the USC campus and i really enjoyed myself. But there was a particular booth that really held my interest, it was about the book 'The Jester has lost his Jingle' by David Saltzman. They were selling the book as well as the cute Jester and it was all for a very good cause. First of all the author David past away from Hodgkin's disease. Now there's and organization that helps children with Cancer. So when you buy a book another book gets sent to a children with Cancer to keep them company when they have to go through those horrible chemo therapies. I believe the lady who told us all about it was related to David. She said that when children are going through their chemo, they tell them to hold on tight to the Jester Doll so the jingles won't sound. Wow i can't even imagine seeing a child go through that. I would like to someday volunteer at a children's hospital, to make their days a little brighter.

Well it was all very fun my little sister Brigitte really enjoyed herself.

We just got two new pets, they are bunnies. Completely adorable and very mischievous they hop around everywhere and chew on wires, but they also lick me when i pet them. I never thought bunnies would listen as much as mine do. Keep giving them fresh vegetables and let them go around the house (of course the dogs are put away) But i'm having so much fun with them.

Well im really happy im still feeling good. Here are some pictures of my bunnies Enjoy!

 xoxo
-Karla-

I Need my insurance + 5 months since my surgery!

5 months and counting, Wow unbelievable we are in April, the months and they days have gone by so fast. It is now 5 months since my surgery. I can say that i'm feeling really great. Depression and my anxiety attacks haven't been back for a while now. My chest still hurts and i've been putting off my cardiologist appointment. But as soon as i can i will check it out. My thyroid medication is still working out really great although my hair continues to get thinner by the day. My pillow is always full of hair that just falls on its own and when i shower i can really notice how much hair i'm loosing, I can't do anything about it, but its fine for now as long as i'm feeling better.

Now what i have are tons of bills piling up. I'm very disappointed at the kind of system we have here in America. So let me tell you in December when i turned 24 i outgrew out of my dad's insurance but in June i go back to his insurance all thanks to the new Obama law. But in the meantime i have bills to pay now, in order to do that, their is a government program called Cobra which you pay them and they pay your bills that your insurance couldn't cover. Well i'm not working right now and i def don't have $2,000 laying around to pay my bills. So i went to apply for medical here is where my story begins. So i thought it would be a good thing to apply to medical seeing that right now i don't have a job and im still recovering from my Cancer.
and what the heck i really thought they would give it to me.

Boy was i wrong. I wasted 4 hours of my life in that filthy place, filled with pregnant women, small children and a whole lot of bitches (some of those people who work there are so mean) So i filled the application the very first thing the the lady asked me was: 'ARE YOU PREGNANT' um NO should i be (yes i should be)
 anyways i waited and waited and waited until finally my number came up i seriously waited to be called for 4 hours and once they called me the lady took about 2 minutes to inform me that there's no way in hell i can get medical because i don't fall under any of the 4 main things which are 1.Be over 65  2. If under 65, must have a child under 18, 3. Be disabled or my favorite one 4. Be Pregnant. really??????

So i think that program sucks-ass badly its very unfortunate that i can't take part in it because i need it i don't have money to pay for my bills. How does everyone else who doesn't have insurance or fall under those regulations deal with it? Also does the government even control who their giving these aids too? No they don't which brings me to my next story.

My uncle went through a roller coaster of horrible disasters because he got with the worst piece of trash ever, he had a child with her and now the child is 10 and my family and I have always been the one caring for the child because the piece of trash decided to abandon him several times. Anyways that story is supper long and extremely annoying but my point is that this piece of trash has a new born son again (isn't that nice) with some other fool who fell into her crap. She already had a daughter from her previous relationship (before my uncle) well from close sources my uncle has found out that this magnificent piece of shit is living life to the fullest shes on welfare, medical and every single government program out there. She's making bank with those two kids of hers plus she has some illegal girl who also has a baby so im sure she's getting money from that child. also she just bought herself a brand new car. WOW isn't that wonderful. Here we are still with her child that she abandon not receiving a single dime from the government. So that makes me mad because like her there are tons of people out there living like that no wonder people won't stop having kids, they know they have it made.

It's very very sad, that a student with Cancer like myself can't seem to find a single job or get some kind of help from the government but yet people who are just taking up space in this world live a some what good life.

I'm eternally grateful that until now i didn't have a need to apply to medical but i really feel for everyone else out there who doesn't have insurance and can't get medical. Illnesses come at any age so the regulations that program has are very stupid. I sound like Michael Moore but home boy is totally right!

Don't worry America I won't be getting pregnant any time soon and making you pay for my child!



thanks for reading my rant and have a good day, and even if you don't have insurance and you don't
feel well find yourself some help. Before it's too late.

-Karla-

It finally worked!

Oh I've abandon my dear blog! Well im back, i've been preoccupied updating my nail design blog and enjoying myself. But i have been meaning to post that it is officially my 4th month and 6th day since my surgery. I am very happy to report that im feeling fantastic. I feel like a new me, i feel so good. The last time i saw my Endocrinologists even he was happy to hear that i had felt much better ran some blood work and finally my new dosage is the one that works for my thyroid levels are where they should be.

Since then i have been able to be myself just like I was or even better since all this happen. I'm very happy with myself and im making big improvements not only with my health but also with my life. I feel like this is a 2nd chance to do everything i haven't done and to do everything i need to the right way. 

I still need to go to my cardiologist for my heart palpitations (im not getting them too frequently but there still there from time to time) But can't complain im supper happy with how i feel.

Can't say it enough but thank you so much to everyone who has prayed for me wished me luck in any form.
I'm extremely grateful. So bless you for all your kind words to my speedy recovery.

Onto a completely different subject. I would like to say that it has been a very sad day and my prayers go out to Japan for the horrible Earthquake and Tsunami they have been hit with. I can't even begin to imagine what it has been like. Just viewing and hearing about it scares me so much. I hope everyone who is trying to communicate with their loved one's over there can find them and know they are safe.

Again thank you so much and many blessings to you out there.

xoxo -Karla-

3 months and counting!

I'm off by two days but on February 5th it was my 3rd month since my surgery. I'm glad to say that i have been feeling a lot better i get tired and weak but either i've learned to deal with it or its not bothering me too much. It's been about two weeks since I started the higher dosage of my thyroid replacement so far it's going find. Although for this one i have to take it on and empty stomach and four hours apart from my calcium so the tricky part has been adjusting to my new pill time. My heart is still giving me palpitations and occasionally chest pain i've been dealing with those too, I mostly ignore them i haven't been able to do the stress test with the cardiologist because my endocrinologist wants to make sure my thyroid levels are where they should be before i do it.

Haven't been able to kick my bad habits aside. My bedtime is supper late and I have a serious addiction with all the 'Desperate Housewives' seasons. My eating habits have also been falling apart and i'm craving sweets like crazy. I haven't given into temptation that much but I want go back on track. I haven't gained any weight (which everyone always asks) But hopefully when my thyroid levels are where they are suppose to be i can find ways to exercise. Luckily the weather has been inspiring me to brisk walk its so lovely, with pleasant winds and sunny skies

Anyways i'm really happy that 3months have gone by they have felt incredibly long but i'm still here. Well in the mean time I finally did a blog for my nail designs. I felt it was time they got their own spotlight away from my illness. I'm planing on pursuing this hobby of mine to the max.

Thanks for stopping by and don't forget to check out my nail design blog

http://karlasnaildesign19.blogspot.com/


xoxo
-Karla

What am I searching for?

         I've been away for a while in search of support groups and motivation, because my stress level has been up again. I have felt very weak and with lots of pain. But more than the physical pain accepting myself has been the hardest. I sometimes wake up feeling cheerful and happy but other days im just down my mood changes here and there and it annoys me. My thyroid levels aren't still where they should be. In fact i will begin a higher dosage of thyroid medication on Wednesday. So have to wait 4 more weeks to see if my thyroid levels are where they should be.

I've also cached the flu it was a given since almost everyone in my family had it. So why would i be the exception when in fact im prone to getting sick lol. But i've been hanging on, the flu hasn't been to difficult on me. Warm calm tea has helped me tremendously. My headaches have come back! Not to severe but i can definitely tell they are present. I'm thinking my calcium levels are low because my fingers and toes have been hurting me a bit. My heart palpitations have been away for a while but i managed to see a cardiologist today.

I told him everything i have been experiencing from the low reading of the EKG to the heart palpitations, chest and left arm pain. He took an ultra-sound of my heart and said that it was normal. He will be running some other test next week to see where my heart stands. If all results come out good (which i pray they do) then its likely that i have a cartilage inflammation and my heart palpitation could be due to an imbalance of hormones.

Hopefully i will get all the answers so i can feel better about myself. I have been very scared and i hate feeling like this. I want to feel young again believe it or not i feel ancient having to go to a different specialist is just plain annoying. I want to feel alive and happy. I have felt some what a lone these days. I have been searching to talk to someone about how i feel. I don't want to tell everything i have bottled up to my mother i just hate making her sad with my things. So far i have found some really good support groups online and have even found others who have gone through what i'm going through. But i'm still seeking for the right way to heal myself properly.

Sometimes i don't speak up about my feelings but that's even worse. When i begin to explain my situation to others i can't seem to keep the tears away; and that is how i know that i need to release all this tension and everything i feel.

When i had my saliva gland dilated i met nurse Gwen and she made me feel so good because she herself had gone through my cancer. She told me how she had felt how hard it was on her and gave me some good advice. I really liked her words of encouragement i finally felt like someone truly understood. her words keep lingering in my mind. She said 'Sweetie find something that makes u feel human again' and right there and then i knew i had to find something to make me feel human because since all this started i haven't felt human. I don't know nor can explain how i've felt, and still feel. A lot of my family members excluding my direct family call to ask about be but they keep giving un-wanted advice as to how i should be feeling, eating and even give their in-put as to what medicines i should be taking and some of them have even taken it upon themselves to guide me into a certain religion.

I thank them for caring but i don't feel like any one understands my condition. It's not about the Cancer my cancer is under control i'm very grateful that it didn't spread and that so far there is no future scheduling for another radiation. But the consequences that my thyroidectomy has left are countless. My body is no longer the same i lost a vital organ. I don't think people understand the meaning of that. I don't expect them too but i want to be able to accept myself. My nail design still gives me comfort but im still in search of that the happiness that i lost a long time ago.

Feel like sharing this song. 'Secrets' by One Republic
I definitely need to start sharing my secrets as well.

Thanks for stopping by
xoxo
-Karla

Beyond Tired!

 I'm back, i've been out for a few days because i had a procedure done this past Monday. My surgeon Dr. Kerner had to perform yet another dilation sub-mandibular gland duct on my right side. Because due to my radiation it swelled up again. It's still a bit swollen under my tongue but i can now speak, and eat normally. Going into the procedure was very traumatizing flash backs of Nov. 5th kept coming through my head. But everyone was so nice. I just hope i don't have to have this done again.

I've been very tired, depressed and fearing for my life like crazy. Sleeping at night has been so hard. I've had horrible heart palpitations, panic attacks and just been so annoyed. That is why i decided to go see my regular doctor today. My blood pressure is a little big up but nothing that drastic.  She did an EKG (Electrocardiogram) and it came back that my heart is really slow. I don't know what that means but i know its not normal. So im being referred to a cardiologist can't wait to hear what he has to say.

This is just worrying me way to much. I can't stand the fact that all i keep getting is bad news. I'm trying to be as positive as i can be, but it just gets way to hard. I'm about to loose it. Really hope i can do something about all this. 

Well here's a picture of my mouth after the procedure he did, its lumpy and it still had some blood with pus coming out (i know disgusting) but I must say Doctor Kerner is wonderful at what he does.