I've been away for a while in search of support groups and motivation, because my stress level has been up again. I have felt very weak and with lots of pain. But more than the physical pain accepting myself has been the hardest. I sometimes wake up feeling cheerful and happy but other days im just down my mood changes here and there and it annoys me. My thyroid levels aren't still where they should be. In fact i will begin a higher dosage of thyroid medication on Wednesday. So have to wait 4 more weeks to see if my thyroid levels are where they should be.
I've also cached the flu it was a given since almost everyone in my family had it. So why would i be the exception when in fact im prone to getting sick lol. But i've been hanging on, the flu hasn't been to difficult on me. Warm calm tea has helped me tremendously. My headaches have come back! Not to severe but i can definitely tell they are present. I'm thinking my calcium levels are low because my fingers and toes have been hurting me a bit. My heart palpitations have been away for a while but i managed to see a cardiologist today.
I told him everything i have been experiencing from the low reading of the EKG to the heart palpitations, chest and left arm pain. He took an ultra-sound of my heart and said that it was normal. He will be running some other test next week to see where my heart stands. If all results come out good (which i pray they do) then its likely that i have a cartilage inflammation and my heart palpitation could be due to an imbalance of hormones.
Hopefully i will get all the answers so i can feel better about myself. I have been very scared and i hate feeling like this. I want to feel young again believe it or not i feel ancient having to go to a different specialist is just plain annoying. I want to feel alive and happy. I have felt some what a lone these days. I have been searching to talk to someone about how i feel. I don't want to tell everything i have bottled up to my mother i just hate making her sad with my things. So far i have found some really good support groups online and have even found others who have gone through what i'm going through. But i'm still seeking for the right way to heal myself properly.
Sometimes i don't speak up about my feelings but that's even worse. When i begin to explain my situation to others i can't seem to keep the tears away; and that is how i know that i need to release all this tension and everything i feel.
When i had my saliva gland dilated i met nurse Gwen and she made me feel so good because she herself had gone through my cancer. She told me how she had felt how hard it was on her and gave me some good advice. I really liked her words of encouragement i finally felt like someone truly understood. her words keep lingering in my mind. She said 'Sweetie find something that makes u feel human again' and right there and then i knew i had to find something to make me feel human because since all this started i haven't felt human. I don't know nor can explain how i've felt, and still feel. A lot of my family members excluding my direct family call to ask about be but they keep giving un-wanted advice as to how i should be feeling, eating and even give their in-put as to what medicines i should be taking and some of them have even taken it upon themselves to guide me into a certain religion.
I thank them for caring but i don't feel like any one understands my condition. It's not about the Cancer my cancer is under control i'm very grateful that it didn't spread and that so far there is no future scheduling for another radiation. But the consequences that my thyroidectomy has left are countless. My body is no longer the same i lost a vital organ. I don't think people understand the meaning of that. I don't expect them too but i want to be able to accept myself. My nail design still gives me comfort but im still in search of that the happiness that i lost a long time ago.
Feel like sharing this song. 'Secrets' by One Republic
I definitely need to start sharing my secrets as well.
Thanks for stopping by
xoxo
-Karla
I've also cached the flu it was a given since almost everyone in my family had it. So why would i be the exception when in fact im prone to getting sick lol. But i've been hanging on, the flu hasn't been to difficult on me. Warm calm tea has helped me tremendously. My headaches have come back! Not to severe but i can definitely tell they are present. I'm thinking my calcium levels are low because my fingers and toes have been hurting me a bit. My heart palpitations have been away for a while but i managed to see a cardiologist today.
I told him everything i have been experiencing from the low reading of the EKG to the heart palpitations, chest and left arm pain. He took an ultra-sound of my heart and said that it was normal. He will be running some other test next week to see where my heart stands. If all results come out good (which i pray they do) then its likely that i have a cartilage inflammation and my heart palpitation could be due to an imbalance of hormones.
Hopefully i will get all the answers so i can feel better about myself. I have been very scared and i hate feeling like this. I want to feel young again believe it or not i feel ancient having to go to a different specialist is just plain annoying. I want to feel alive and happy. I have felt some what a lone these days. I have been searching to talk to someone about how i feel. I don't want to tell everything i have bottled up to my mother i just hate making her sad with my things. So far i have found some really good support groups online and have even found others who have gone through what i'm going through. But i'm still seeking for the right way to heal myself properly.
Sometimes i don't speak up about my feelings but that's even worse. When i begin to explain my situation to others i can't seem to keep the tears away; and that is how i know that i need to release all this tension and everything i feel.
When i had my saliva gland dilated i met nurse Gwen and she made me feel so good because she herself had gone through my cancer. She told me how she had felt how hard it was on her and gave me some good advice. I really liked her words of encouragement i finally felt like someone truly understood. her words keep lingering in my mind. She said 'Sweetie find something that makes u feel human again' and right there and then i knew i had to find something to make me feel human because since all this started i haven't felt human. I don't know nor can explain how i've felt, and still feel. A lot of my family members excluding my direct family call to ask about be but they keep giving un-wanted advice as to how i should be feeling, eating and even give their in-put as to what medicines i should be taking and some of them have even taken it upon themselves to guide me into a certain religion.
I thank them for caring but i don't feel like any one understands my condition. It's not about the Cancer my cancer is under control i'm very grateful that it didn't spread and that so far there is no future scheduling for another radiation. But the consequences that my thyroidectomy has left are countless. My body is no longer the same i lost a vital organ. I don't think people understand the meaning of that. I don't expect them too but i want to be able to accept myself. My nail design still gives me comfort but im still in search of that the happiness that i lost a long time ago.
Feel like sharing this song. 'Secrets' by One Republic
I definitely need to start sharing my secrets as well.
Thanks for stopping by
xoxo
-Karla
The joint or cartilage inflammation will not cause rapid heart rate; I am still leaning toward the some sort nerve injury but I am not sure. Are your T3 levels are off hand as well?
ReplyDeleteLast week I did very funny car repair and even wrote an artile about it in case someone would like to do it yourself.(The customer was facing $230 charge but eneded up in buying a wire and 4 connections:)You may want to take a look on ithttp://www.toyotanation.com/forum/showthread.php?t=370160