November 5th to many is just another day in the calendar or it could be a birthday, a special date, a test etc.
But for me it will always be "remember remember the 5th of November' I shall never forget this day. Today marks my 1 year anniversary or more like my cancerversary. Last year around this very same time i was in surgery and still hadn't been told i had thyroid cancer.
What a year it has been, its seems like just yesterday i was laying in that hospital with a new scar on my neck and pouch to drain my blood. I'm very thankful that i made it, i didn't think i would. Its all bittersweet now i feel like a masochist remembering everything that I've been through. But remembering, to me feels like I'm healing.
It almost puts tears to my eyes when i remember how everything changed last year. My whole life was altered i'm no longer the Karla i was last year before this day. I truly believe i have changed almost everything about myself. I no longer take life for granted, i cherish each day that comes and goes. I now think before i do anything. I analyze my life with a lot more details and im trying to change all the negative aspects to positive one's. It's been a struggle, my life was robbed away from my hands. I had to changed dramatically, i grew, matured and have learned to love myself. The things that i may have done last year before this day. I would no longer do. My body changed it has gone through a roller coaster of emotions, symptoms and self adjustment.
But im now starting to understand it. I'm not complete just yet and i do realize this might take weeks, months and years. But i'm willing to do anything in my power to feel complete.
How am I today? Well im doing a whole lot better, i've adjusted to taking my meds on time (Have an alarm to remind me each-day) Always have new symptoms it could be my stomach, uterus, head, eyes, ears etc... but no matter what i always wonder if its a symptom that has to do with my cancer! I eat a whole lot healthier now, i think before i put that chocolate brownie, or soda in my mouth. I'm a lot more energetic than i was. I take long wonderful naps when my body needs them desperately. I try to relax (still haven't mastered it) but im trying. I cry and let my feelings out when i need to and feel like. I'm on my 5th thyroid dosage hopefully this is the one! I still feel very tired at times, my stomach unfortunately still hurts and i need to get my yearly check-up (which im kind of scared to do.)
I'm less pounds and have reduced body volume. My attitude has changed i no longer let little things get to me or stupid people for that matter. I'm a lot more careful about people trying to hurt me in any way. I can truly say I have learned to love myself. I have discovered great attributes i didn't know i had. I've accomplished some of my goals. I've gained a handful of friends. And I've realized that i should never shut myself from the world.
I'm so thankful for my family, friends and strangers who have become friends. They have all encouraged me with words of wisdom, thoughtful gestures, and have kept me in their prayers. Above all i thank the lord for giving me strength to overcome all these obstacles. I too pray for more guidance and strength to overcome new obstacles that may arise.
Someday i will look at all this and finally say i'm healed but for now i can only say im doing my best to get there.
Thank you to everyone who has been interested in my personal blog.
May you be well. and i'm here, im not planing on abandoning this blog. I do post more on my nail design blog. But this one is very important because it helped me realize what i can do and who i really am.
ill post a picture of my scar later on.
xoxo Karla
But for me it will always be "remember remember the 5th of November' I shall never forget this day. Today marks my 1 year anniversary or more like my cancerversary. Last year around this very same time i was in surgery and still hadn't been told i had thyroid cancer.
What a year it has been, its seems like just yesterday i was laying in that hospital with a new scar on my neck and pouch to drain my blood. I'm very thankful that i made it, i didn't think i would. Its all bittersweet now i feel like a masochist remembering everything that I've been through. But remembering, to me feels like I'm healing.
It almost puts tears to my eyes when i remember how everything changed last year. My whole life was altered i'm no longer the Karla i was last year before this day. I truly believe i have changed almost everything about myself. I no longer take life for granted, i cherish each day that comes and goes. I now think before i do anything. I analyze my life with a lot more details and im trying to change all the negative aspects to positive one's. It's been a struggle, my life was robbed away from my hands. I had to changed dramatically, i grew, matured and have learned to love myself. The things that i may have done last year before this day. I would no longer do. My body changed it has gone through a roller coaster of emotions, symptoms and self adjustment.
But im now starting to understand it. I'm not complete just yet and i do realize this might take weeks, months and years. But i'm willing to do anything in my power to feel complete.
How am I today? Well im doing a whole lot better, i've adjusted to taking my meds on time (Have an alarm to remind me each-day) Always have new symptoms it could be my stomach, uterus, head, eyes, ears etc... but no matter what i always wonder if its a symptom that has to do with my cancer! I eat a whole lot healthier now, i think before i put that chocolate brownie, or soda in my mouth. I'm a lot more energetic than i was. I take long wonderful naps when my body needs them desperately. I try to relax (still haven't mastered it) but im trying. I cry and let my feelings out when i need to and feel like. I'm on my 5th thyroid dosage hopefully this is the one! I still feel very tired at times, my stomach unfortunately still hurts and i need to get my yearly check-up (which im kind of scared to do.)
I'm less pounds and have reduced body volume. My attitude has changed i no longer let little things get to me or stupid people for that matter. I'm a lot more careful about people trying to hurt me in any way. I can truly say I have learned to love myself. I have discovered great attributes i didn't know i had. I've accomplished some of my goals. I've gained a handful of friends. And I've realized that i should never shut myself from the world.
I'm so thankful for my family, friends and strangers who have become friends. They have all encouraged me with words of wisdom, thoughtful gestures, and have kept me in their prayers. Above all i thank the lord for giving me strength to overcome all these obstacles. I too pray for more guidance and strength to overcome new obstacles that may arise.
Someday i will look at all this and finally say i'm healed but for now i can only say im doing my best to get there.
Thank you to everyone who has been interested in my personal blog.
May you be well. and i'm here, im not planing on abandoning this blog. I do post more on my nail design blog. But this one is very important because it helped me realize what i can do and who i really am.
ill post a picture of my scar later on.
xoxo Karla
