I have found a really wonderful place that i feel understands everything im going through. It's called 'Dear Thyroid' the cute narrows it down to what it's about. But it's more than that it's to give awareness of thyroid cancer. I wrote my letter to them so check it out!
you can also read it here http://dearthyroid.org/a-whisper-a-word-cancer/
Dear Thyroid:
On November 5th 2010 (almost 8months now), I went in for a partial thyroidectomy, and came out with a complete thyroidectomy and with my surgeon’s words on my ear “Karla you did wonderful but we had to take it all out, because it was Cancer”. I was pretty sedated when he told me and made the mistake of breaking it to my parents in that condition…
This is my story of my missing bow:
Ever since I can remember, when I would go for regular check-ups, my pediatricians would always imply something about my thyroid. I would get my thyroid levels checked and everything always came back normal. But I was always on the chunky side, so that was always one of the main topics of discussion. After I graduated high school, I started seeing a new doctor. From the very beginning, she didn’t like the small lump on my neck, and immediately sent me to get a biopsy. Unfortunately, I never got those results. I let it slide for quite a while.
With each yearly check-up, the biopsy came up and she continued to send me for biopsies. I had about 3 biopsies that came back unclear, but noted that I had an existing nodule/goiter. Being the procrastinator that I am, I let my nodule/goiter slide. Until July of last year 2010 when I had a severe bronchitis that lasted about 3 weeks, followed by a visit to the ER for anxiety/dehydration/depression. (I was also diagnosed with high blood pressure and was placed on medication.) After all that, I was a complete wreck. I was depressed all the time. I did a follow up with my regular doctor.
She gave me bronchitis medication and also told me that I had lost nearly 12 pounds in 3 weeks due to my bronchitis. During the check-up, she went straight for my neck and saw a much bigger lump then she recalled; it wasn’t that visible to me. She sent me to an ENT. He sent me for yet another biopsy, which hurt really badly. When my results came back, he told me that Hurtle cells were present and he wanted me to meet with a surgeon immediately. After hearing that, I left his office filled with anxiety and tears. I met with my surgeon, Dr. Kerner. my guardian. He explained the whole procedure and that he was sure that it wouldn’t be cancer; due to my age and non existing family history of thyroid disease. Two-weeks went by. My surgery was scheduled on Friday November 5th 2010.
I was completely scared, + the rainy weather didn’t help at all. I didn’t think I would make it, because my family has had issues with anesthesia. The wait seemed like hours and my nerves got the best of me. I have thin veins, therefore the nurses tried both my arms, wrists, even the top of my hands, which hurt really badly, for about 10x’s until finally the anesthesiologist came to my rescue. He was able to locate my vein on the 2nd try and start the IV. I said my, “see you later’s” to my parents and was transported via hospital bed to the surgery room. The bright lights, blue nurses and cold room sent me into a panic attack. When they wrapped me up, being claustrophobic. it didn’t help. They were very friendly and got me talking. Then, I was completely knocked out until my surgery was over.
My 3-day recovery in the hospital was emotionally draining. I didn’t have any severe pain, just the loss of my voice, a severe sore throat and lack of movement. No appetite, oh yeah, and a little pouch over my chest draining my blood. It all seemed like a dream. I was so glad to be back home. While in my bed for the very first hour, it finally hit me, I had cancer at the age of 23. I just began to cry. I couldn’t really sit up straight. I felt completely sorry for myself. After each visit to the doctor or to the hospital for my full body scans and the radiation pill, I became very depressed. I started to do hand drawn nail art to calm myself down. Sometimes it would work. Sometimes it didn’t. I would make my mother sleep with me day after day because I was scared to be on my own.
Now that it’s been almost 8 months since my surgery, I’m still having quite a lot of issues, like anxiety, depression, heart palpitations and insomnia. All of it still scares me, to think of what I’ve gone through. I began a blog dedicated to my thyroid that has helped me a lot. I know that I need a lot of mental and emotional support. What I’ve been through still scares me. I began a blog dedicated to my thyroid that has helped me a lot. I know that i need a lot of mental, emotional and physical help and support to help surpass all this. I feel like the shock is over. I’m stuck with the trauma of it all. My family, friends and loved one’s have helped me so much and continue lending a hand to my recuperation.
I was very glad, and delighted to find such a cute blog dedicated to thyroid issues. It will help me re evaluate myself and learn things that I didn’t know about.
Thank you so much for allowing me to share my story, and i hope it helps girls my age that are going through what I’m going through know that their not alone.
-Karla-
